How many times have you decided to break a habit then failed to do it?
How many times have you said that you will change then few days later you returned back to your old habits?
How many times have you felt so guilty because of doing a bad habit then few weeks later you did it again?
If your answers were yes, then know that you are not an exception because most people do the same mistakes which prevents them to from quitting habits successfully.
This article will help you change your behavior by informing you about a fatal mistake that can prevent you from breaking bad habits.
Many of the bad habits we do can actually make us feel good. For example overeating is an example of a bad habit that can make a person feel good at least while he is eating. So the question here is, why do we sometimes feel guilty when we do a bad habit even though this habit could be making us feel good?
The short answer is : This habit violates one of our values.
If for example you grew up believing that something is bad then whenever you do that thing you will be going against your beliefs and values. This kind of internal conflict results in the guilt you experience after doing that bad habit. See The bad psychological effects of masturbation.
There are generally some popular beliefs about certain habits that can make almost everyone feel guilty about them. Smoking for example is known to be one of the causes of health problems. Now even if you think smoking never makes you feel guilty still your subconscious mind will be accumulating this guilt silently because it believes that smoking is harmful. See The psychology behind smoking.
The problem with guilt is that it fades away quickly as the time passes. If you tried to break a habit because you feel guilty then you will succeed in doing so as long as guilt is still present but as soon as guilt disappears, which usually happens in few days, your bad habit will return.
In my book The ultimate guide to maintaining a healthy relationship I explained that guilt is a powerful emotion and that it can be used maintain a healthy relationship.
By not shouting at your spouse when he shouts at you he will feel guilty then few minutes later he will say sorry. So guilt can be useful when you want to motivate someone to do a task once, but when it comes to permanently stopping a bad habit then certainly guilt won't work.
If you want to break a habit then you must know that guilt is not enough, instead you should look for the root cause behind the habit. If for example your bad habit is anger then you must find out what goal you are trying to reach by becoming angry.
Are you protecting your ego? are you angry at life and just projecting your anger on others? As soon as you discover the root cause behind the bad habit breaking it will be an easy task.
When someone decides to quit smoking he usually tears the last pack apart, throws it out of the window and he stops smoking that day completely But few days later, when a friend smokes in front of him he returns back to his old habit in seconds.
Again if that smoker tried to understand the reasons that motivated him to smoke in the first place then breaking his habit might become an easy task.
For example, some teens smoke to satisfy the need of being more masculine. If that teen found a way to feel more masculine he might not even think about smoking once again.
According to psychology each bad habit serves an important purpose, if you found a way to attain that purpose without doing the bad habit then quitting it will be an easy task.
2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it's a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it's a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself. The book "How to get over someone in few days" was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded.
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