When he deceives you

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

When he deceives you

It feels really bad when someone deceives you but it feels even worse when it comes from a close person. Just like the feeling you get when a close friend betrays you, deception can hurt badly.

You might be thinking that I am talking about being deceived by a friend or by your loved partner but I am talking about a much worse case which is being deceived by your subconscious mind.

The Lie

He thought that he loved his work. He kept working for more than twelve hours everyday. Everyone used to flatter his deep enthusiasm about his job. His self confidence was mainly dependent on this flattering and his psychological identity was changed from "a worthless person" to "The hard worker"

But do you know what was the real truth behind his addiction to his work?
Few years ago his subconscious mind realized that he has no friends or good social skills. After several failed attempts by his subconscious mind to fix these issues through various defense mechanisms, it reached a good conclusion.

“This situation can’t be fixed, lets avoid social relations completely”

But the subconscious mind knew that our friend was never going to accept this fact. It may even hurt him so much to admit that he is a failure when it comes to social relations. So the subconscious mind decided to deceive him, to make him think that work is the most important thing in his life and so our story began.

The subconscious mind started to let that person form new beliefs about life including things like:

1- My job is the most important thing in my life
2- My major goal in life is self actualization which will only be achieved if I worked for more than 12 hours a day
3- Self confidence is only dependent on career success

As you see the main aim of those beliefs was not to praise hard work but rather to devalue social life and friendship. The guy lived for 10 years feeling happy about himself until one day he was invited to a party.

When he arrived there, he discovered lots of things about himself. He discovered that he has no friends and that he doesn’t know how to deal with people. He discovered that his hard work was nothing more but a way to escape or to avoid social situations. He discovered that he was fooled by his best friend, his Subconscious mind!!

Did he deceive you too?

What about your subconscious mind? Do you think that you are currently being deceived? I will help you in answering this question by providing some examples of self deception methods that your subconscious mind can use against you:

My sacred mission in life: sometimes the subconscious mind devalues some aspects of your life by letting you believe that you only have one mission in life. This case is the same as the one in the previous example, our friend's sacred mission was career success.

Experience: I don’t know if this example is popular in other countries but here in Egypt, where I live, you can hear this phrase more than anything else “I don’t care about money now, I only want to gain experience”. When some people find it impossible to increase their income or to gain more money, their subconscious minds invents the “looking for experience” thing just to make them feel good about themselves.

Religion: I am not talking about religion in general but I am talking about special cases where some people stick to religion just because they weren’t able to find some other identity. when your subconscious mind directs you to a religion just to find a group of people to belong to then it’s another big form of self deception.

And Much more: my family is my life, my children are the most important thing in my life, i dont care about that because i only want this....etc

How to prevent this kind of deception

Self deception is one of the worst types of deception that could happen to anyone of us and unfortunately it’s the most popular one.

But luckily, preventing your subconscious mind from fooling you is not that hard. Every now and then take few minutes to think about your actions and to find out if self deception was the cause behind them. By doing this simple action you will be able to protect yourself from the worst form of deception. The Deception by your subconscious mind.

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