Overcome depression now
How to change people's behavior
By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
How to change people's behavior
Our self concept determines to a great extent the way we see ourselves and the way we behave. If a person believed that he is a failure then most likely he will try to prove it by choosing hard challenges that he can’t do well at.
A research has found that confident people tend to choose reachable and challenging goals while those who lack self confidence either avoid setting goals or go for extremely hard ones.
Few days ago I was watching the African cup finals and I noticed how a brand new team player in the Egyptian team who was called Gedo scored more goals than all other players in the tournament.
As soon as Gedo entered the playground people kept screaming his name out loud and thus made him feel that they are expecting a goal. The guy didn’t fail them each time and he always scored goals but why did this happen?
Because they changed his own self concept and made him believe that he is a great soccer player through their encouragement he did his best to prove them right!
Changing someone by changing his self concept
If you managed to make someone believe that he can do something then he will do it. Because people kept cheering for the soccer player Gedo he believed them and then worked on proving his new self concept true. (see Self concept and identity)
Changing someone’s behavior is all about changing his self concept and making him believe that he can change.
But the question is, why did they cheer for that specific player instead of cheering for others? Simply because that player performed well many times until they believed in him and starting supporting him.
So there is another step involved in the change, before someone can be encouraged to become someone else he has first to prove that he is capable of changing to the better.
Change comes from within and from the outside too
If someone decided to change his behavior and worked on it people will notice the change and will encourage him to be even better. This encouragement will further strengthen his new self concept and will help him maintain his new behavior.
In the Solid Self confidence program I explained how a person can change by deciding to change and how he can also change as a result of the new self concept imposed on him by his peers. This is similar to peer pressure but the only difference is that the person happily accepts this new self concept instead of being forced to accept something that he doesn’t like.
If you want to change someone’s behavior then instead of criticizing him let him believe that he can do better and he will change. On the other hand if you want to change your own behavior then start by your inner world and sooner or later you will reflect your new self concept upon the world.
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