The right way to approach a girl or a guy

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The right way to approach a girl or a guy

People always ask me to write articles about the right way to approach others and as a response to their requests i decided to write this article.

Have you seen the movie the karate kid?
In that movie Jackie Chan took the small kid with him to the temple so that he gains some wisdom. While they were in the temple the kid saw a man imitating the moves of a cobra exactly.

The kid asked Jackie Chan "why the man imitates the cobra?" and Jackie Chan replied saying that the Cobra is the one imitating the man because he has reached a very advanced level of mental control that allows him to control animals!!

So you might be wondering, what does this has to do with the right way to approaching a girl, a guy or anyone else?

Read this article to know the connection.

Controlling people is the right way to approach them!!

Yesterday i approached a complete stranger to ask her about something. In the beginning i had a big smile on my face but she didn't smile back. I asked another question with another big smile on my face and only then she responded with a smile.

Few seconds later i stopped smiling and asked a question in a cold way and in a fraction of a second the smile disappeared from her face. Now i smiled again one final time and this complete stranger smiled back while talking.

So what was i doing exactly? I was trying to prove that the way people respond to you when you approach them is extreemly dependent on the way you act while approaching them. (see How to approach strangers)

The girl smiled because i smiled and stopped smiling when i stopped. Isn't this the same kind of mental control the guy was doing to the snake?.

The right way to approach anyone

Why do you think the girl was responding that way?
Most people want approval. When you approach them while showing them that you are interested in them they will usually feel comfortable around you and as a result they will respond positively to you. (see How to communicate properly with other people)

Now if you did the exact opposite, for example approached someone without being friendly, then he wont feel comfortable and he will respond negatively.

This means that the right way to approach anyone is to make that person feel comfortable around you and as soon as you do so the person will imitate your moves just like the snake imitated the kung fu master.

What most people who have problems approaching strangers do is that they approach others while:

1) Feeling anxious or uneasy
2) Frowning
3) Showing the person they are approaching that they don't care that much about him so that they don't feel bad in case they were rejected
4) Being overly assertive just to show that they are confident
5) Acting in an arrogant way to show that they dont care

If you want to know the right way to approach others then the perfect thing you can do is to smile, be relaxed and confident.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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Want to know more?

How to start a conversation with a girl a guy or anyone else

How to overcome the fear of approaching women

How to become more approachable

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