The Ultimate Source for Self Understanding

reading body language,state of unease

Have you ever noticed how some people stand when they're totally alone or in a place where they know absolutely no one?
Have you ever tried noticing how you stand when you're uncomfortable with your surroundings?
If you have noticed correctly, then you've most probably realized that it's the below posture that your body takes in the above-mentioned situations; the defensive posture. The defensive posture is marked by the folding of arms and is at times accompanied by the crossing of the legs, if the feelings are intense.

When do people take the defensive form?

The defensive posture is one of the most famous positions you will notice around because it is related to disease, discomfort and unfamiliarity with either people or surroundings. The subconscious mind of the person experiencing those feelings believes that folding your arms and legs will defend you from the surroundings. Of course it isn't but that's how the subconscious mind sees it.
People usually take the defensive posture when they witness an accident or something, hoping they can defend themselves away from the whole situation.

People may also take the same position when being offended because they try to defend themselves from what they are hearing. People who are shy by nature or who lack self confidence may feel continuously insecure and that's why they may take the defensive posture most of the time.

You can easily spot a stranger in a group just by taking a look at how he is standing in the crowd. Usually, strangers take the defensive posture while maintaining a bigger private distance than they normally do. Don't rely on the defensive posture alone; make sure both clues exist.

As you've just seen, very slight changes to your body language can have a big effect on your relationships with people. In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you, I described how slight changes, such as keeping your back straight, can increase the chances of having people fall in love with you. The more confident you appear, the more attractive you will become, and nothing can make you appear confident more than a straight back.

Want to know more?

Yes, what is the subconscious mind?
How can the state of offense have the same posture as that of the state of disease?

I have self confidence problems, what do I do?

I am very shy, is there a solution?

Tell me about private distance?

No, take me back to the 'body language' learning page