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Reading body language: State of offense

A person in a state of offense generates one of the most well-known body forms; the form that the body takes or associates in that kind of state is the same one used for the defensive position which constructs of having the arms crossed (sometimes it's accompanied by crossed legs too). You may have grown offended by something that someone said, something that didn’t really appeal to you for example.

Where else can you see someone in the state of offense?

Suppose you met a friend and the first thing he said to you was "hey, where did you get that awful shirt from? It doesn't suit you at all". At a moment like that, you're most likely to take the defensive position. Your subconscious mind thinks that by crossing your arms, you will be protecting yourself from what you've heard; that's why it's called the defensive position.

How to Deal With a person taking the defensive position

• If you are in a negotiation with someone, and he takes defensive position, then know that he didn't like what you had to say.
• If you criticize someone who later takes the defensive position, make sure to apologize to him because he has been offended.
• If you are a sales person and you're talking to a customer about a product's price and then he takes the defensive position, be flexible and talk about something else other than the price because it's obvious that he didn't like what you said.
• Always use your mind to determine whether the defensive position was taken because the person was offended or for any other reason like that of feeling uncomfortable or cold.

As you've just seen, very slight changes to your body language can have a big effect on your relationship with others. In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you, I described how a slight change, such as keeping your back straight, can increase the chances of having people fall in love with you. The more confident you appear to be, the more attractive you will become; nothing can make you look more confident than a straight back.

Want to know more?

Tell me about the defensive position (feeling uncomfortable)?

Take me back to the 'body language' learning page

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