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Ways to deal with criticism and critical people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Dealing with criticism and critical people

Because People are different conflicts arise and as a result it becomes hard to avoid criticism for a long period of time. Lots of people consider criticism a bad thing while in fact that's not always true because just as there is bad criticism there is constructive criticism.

The key to dealing with criticism correctly is to understand the intention of the person who gave the critical comment and then responding based on that intention.

If for example the critical person was criticizing you out of jealousy or of hatred then certainly you should deal with him in a different way than the way you are going to use if someone criticized you because he wants you to be better.

In this article i will tell you how to deal with criticism and critical people by helping you understand the intention behind the critical comment.

How to deal with criticism

The first thing you should do when someone criticizes you is to never reply right away because of the following reasons:

1) You might not be able to understand the person's intentions in the first few seconds
2) You will show how the critical comment affected you
3) You might not find the best answer right away

The faster you reply the more importance you give to the person who criticized you. In some cases it can be even better not to reply at all because this will let the other person believe that his comment was completely worthless.

The second thing you need to do is to be emotionally intelligent. For example if your parent was criticizing you because he wants you to be the best then it won't be wise at all to respond back the same way you respond to a person who criticizes you because he hates you.

The third and the most important thing you must do to deal with criticism is to find out whether the critical comment is correct or not. If someone told you that you lack a certain skill and he was right then in such a case you must work on developing this skill instead of trying to respond back to him unless his intentions were really bad.

Dealing with Criticism and lack of self confidence

Self confidence is certainly one of the factors that affects your tolerance to criticism. If you were a very successful and famous person then someone told you that you are a failure then most probably you will think that this person can't judge others instead of thinking that you are the defective one.

That's why i said in the Solid Self confidence program that the more confident you become the less likely it is for criticism to affect you.

Dealing with critical people who have bad intentions

If you were 100% sure that the person who criticized you had bad intentions you should do the following:

  • Never reply defending yourself: For example if someone told me that my clothes look awful i would never reply saying "no they are good because of so and so". once you are on the defensive side you will become stuck defending yourself without being able to respond
  • Attack don't defend: Critical comment: "Your clothes look worthless" your reply: "I can change my clothes anytime but your hair cut will always look stupid". What you just did here is that you responded by attacking instead of defending yourself, Once the attacker becomes defensive it would be very easy to win the verbal fight
  • Never become emotional: The key to replying correctly to criticism is to let the attacker lose his temper while staying in control. The one who will lose his temper first will make mistakes, won't be able to pick the right words and will become an easy target

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