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How psychological factors affect sexual desire

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Unconscious goals & Desire

Most people work in order to make a living but why would a billionaire keep working even though he has all the money he needs?

Its because his work is allowing him to fulfill another important psychological goal. This goal could be satisfying his Ego, protecting his identity or maintaining his status.

In other words, human beings can be doing the same things for completely different reasons. We all know that people have sex in order to satisfy their sexual desires but what most people aren't aware of is that sometimes people have sex to achieve a completely different goal.

Lots of things take place in the subconscious mind of a person that aren't usually noticed by his conscious mind. Sometimes a person's subconscious mind motivates him to do a certain action without giving him any explanation.

This is why some people have psychological disorders, its because their subconscious minds are trying to reach certain goals that they aren't consciously aware of.

So what does all this has to do with sex?

how psychological factors affect sexual desire

Some people feel unloved. Those people usually follow any path that enables them to get some of the love they need. Without realizing the reason those people can become sex addicts who try to have sex with anyone they encounter.

While all normal humans should crave sex to fulfill their desires sex addicts crave sex in order to fulfill a completely different goal which is feeling loved in this case.

Some other people use sex to elevate their self esteem. Players are the perfect example of the people who seek many sexual partners in order to elevate their self esteem which is usually low.

A typical player will feel more confident with each prey he hunts and because he is always in need of approval he can hardly give up on his habit unless he understands what's going on. (see also The psychology of players)

A third group of people seek sex in order to feel in control over others. Men who don't feel that dominant when it comes to dealing with women might seek sex in order to feel that they are dominant and in control.

Sexual desire could also serve the goal of escapement and protecting the Ego. A man who doesn't believe that he can deal with women might become attracted to other men without realizing that his subconscious mind used this trick to protect his Ego. In other words denying the desire for women and claiming that he is only abstracted to men can help him protect his self esteem without facing the truth. (see also Gay psychology).

Sexual desire differences between men and women

A man's sexual desire only requires the presence of the right visual clues in order to be activated while a woman's sexual desire require the presence of more complex psychological factors.

In my book The psychology of physical attraction i said that while a man can be turned on through his sight only a woman must quickly process many things in her brain before she can decide whether she will be turned on or not. That's why women who get married to people they don't really love report low sexual desire.(see also What turns women on)

In other words women need to be psychologically turned on as much as men need to be biologically turned on. That's why drug companies failed to create a drug similar to Viagra for women. While they managed to control the biological factors involved in the arousal of women they failed to control the psychological factors involved. (see also How men and women perceive attractiveness)

The final conclusion is that humans can get involved in certain behaviors in order to fulfill certain unconscious goals that they are unaware of.

People who don't understand how others perceive physical attraction usually develop the imagined ugliness disorder.

The book The psychology of physical attraction explained was released by 2knowmyself. This book won't just help you understand how the attraction process happens but it will also help you discover how attractive you are and will assist you in getting over the imagined ugliness problem.

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