Emotional intelligence and anger

Emotional intelligence has many possible definitions. One of them is the rational way of channeling your emotions into the correct channels instead of venting them randomly on the first victim you find. For instance, if someone had a bad day at work while driving back home and then he yelled at a driver on the road only because he was driving slowly then its not an emotionally intelligent action. The driver's pace is the apparent reason for that person's anger but the real reason behind it is the fact that he had a bad day and just wanted to get some of his suppressed emotions out..

What should have he done?

Thinking in an emotionally intelligent way enables you to think that this person is not intentionally driving slowly. He simply may be afraid of driving too fast.

Now suppose that you were in the same situation and that you had a real bad day at work, What do you think the best way to act would be?
the first thing you should do is knowing why are you feeling frustrated today. If the reason is that you had a fight with your boss because of your imperfect work, you must substitute this anger with another constructive attitude like saying “ok from now on he won't find a mistake in my work ever again”. By doing this you have channeled your emotions from anger to a beneficial challenge.

Lack of emotional intelligence doesn't only affect your anger management abilities but it also affects your ability to recover from a breakup, in my book How to get over anyone in few days i described confusing emotions such as guilt, insecurity or lack of self confidence with love can prevent you from forgetting about someone. For example if you loved someone just to compensate for your lack of self confidence, you may first need to teach yourself how to become confident before you can forget about the person. Emotional intelligence in this case would have helped you realize that the problem was with self confidence and not love.

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