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The mystery behind the unknown

When something is unknown, it seems to be mysterious to the mind, your imagination goes freely thinking about it but it never knows how it's actually like without ever succeeding in identifying its nature, which gives the issue a bigger size than actually required.

So how can you use such information? Actually, there is this one very good use; you can stop digging behind the compliments you receive (in attempt to know the reason behind it) because this digging will actually make it appear so much bigger than it really is. Also, digging behind the compliment in that manner gets it to lose a great part of its size effect. In the first case, you will be exaggerating the effect of the compliment in your mind while in the second case you will be discounting the value.

Compliments, criticism and the unknown

Suppose someone complimented you by saying that you are an interesting person. By not digging behind the reason for the compliment, you will be leaving the space free for your imagination to figure out the reason; you may choose to believe that he told you so because he thinks you are smart, intelligent, or cheerful or even all of the previous reasons. On the other hand, if you go on asking the person why he thought you were interesting, and his reply came as “Because you are a good listener”, the compliment is most likely to lose half its effect.

Now suppose someone criticized you by saying that he didn’t enjoy your company. If you don’t dig for the reason behind the comment, then your mind may end up wandering between reasons like you being stupid, ugly, boring or all the previous. But, what if you actually asked the critic why he said that, and you found out he was an over-sensitive person and that you unintentionally hurt him the last time you talked; how are you going to feel then? Of course, the critic's comment will be discounted and will have a minor effect compared to the effect it would have had if you hadn't dug behind it.

Did that help?

Yes, but I feel really bad when someone criticizes me