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Why do people choose the wrong mate

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

why do people choose the wrong mate

why do most people make the wrong choices when it comes to mate selection?
Why are most people unhappy with their relationships?
Who do so many people cheat?

Relationship dissatisfaction is too common these days. Few months or even few weeks after people get together they start to wonder whether this is really what they wanted in life or not.

You might think that intelligence can prevent people from making the wrong choices and while this is partially true still the lack of solid Knowledge about the way your mind works can let you make the wrong choice even if you were the smartest person alive.

Because of this reason I decided to write this post to tell you why do people make the wrong choices in their love life.

Reasons people make the wrong choices in their love life

  • 1) I can’t do better: One of the most common reasons for relationship dissatisfaction is choosing a partner that you don’t really like because of believing that you can’t do better. Whether you feel you are getting old or whether you believe you are no good the end result can be choosing someone who doesn’t really satisfy your important needs and as a result feel dissatisfied. People don’t usually admit this fact because it might hurt their ego but instead they get involved into different self deception methods in order to convince themselves that they are happy
  • 2) past unfinished business: I said earlier that we human beings do our best to triumph over our past by choosing partners similar to the ones who used to ignore us, mistreat us and abuse us. Because any person could get a self esteem boost if he managed to attract someone who resembles a person who rejected him in the past people do their best to attract those who resemble their abusers and as a result they get abused again (see Your past and who you are)
  • 3) Eager to find love: some people are emotionally wounded in such a way that they always need nurturing and care. As humans we all need to be taken care of but when this need lets you chose someone who is bad for you then know that it became an unhealthy desire instead of a healthy need. People who don’t feel loved or who weren’t nurtured by their parents go for those who give them love with disregard to their potential compatibility with them (see Love addiction)
  • 4) Lack of understanding of their real needs: In my book The psychology of attraction explained i said that if you don’t know exactly what your important unmet needs are then most probably you are going to fall for the wrong person. Any handsome or rich person might win your heart only to discover later that you had serious important needs that this person can’t really meet (see Love psychology)
  • 5) they want a relationship not a relationship partner: Many people hate being single and long for the day they will be with someone. Now this intense desire might make a person blind when taking that important life decision. When the first person appears in their lives those people quickly get into a relationship without actually trying to find out whether he is a suitable long term partner or not (see Can you be single and happy)

How to make the correct choice

There is only one way out of this mess, learn how your mind works. Get to know your real needs, know about your weak points so that you don’t let your desires take over and make sure you perfectly understand what you are looking for.
Only then you will make the right choice.

People who don't understand how others perceive physical attraction usually develop the imagined ugliness disorder.

The book The psychology of physical attraction explained was released by 2knowmyself. This book won't just help you understand how the attraction process happens but it will also help you discover how attractive you are and will assist you in getting over the imagined ugliness problem.

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