Why do people discourage others?

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do they put me down

Every now and then i get an email from a person who tells me that people are discouraging him and putting him down.

The reason i sometimes get really concerned when i read such Emails is that some of those people actually believe those who put them down or at least start to doubt their own abilities.

Its completely normal to encounter people in your life who try to put you down but when you start questioning your abilities after talking to them then know that you are in great danger.

The best way i can help you not to get affected by those people is to let you know why people discourage others in the first place.

Why do people discourage others?

These are the real reasons that motivate people to discourage you:

  • 1) They can't do what you want to do: If i believe that i can't succeed then i will assume that other people won't be able to succeed as well unless they are lucky. Now when i meet an enthusiastic person who claims that he can succeed i will certainly try to infect him with my negative beliefs.
  • 2) They were threatened by you: Some people feel threatened whenever they find anybody trying to do something that they never dared to do. If someone always wanted to be rich but never dared to start a private business then he will feel threatened if he found you taking this step. In such a case this person might put you down just to make sure that you won't bypass him and become better than him
  • 3) They are jealous: Believe it or not, a close friend may try to discourage you just because he is jealous of you. If you are getting more attention than him or if he feels incompetent compared to you then he might put you down just because he feels jealous
  • 4) He is afraid: When i proposed my first book to the owner of a publishing house back in 2006 the man refused to publish it claiming that he only publishes books about politics. Later on when i sold more than 1 million worth of copies (see How i did it) i realized that the man was just afraid to take the risk because i seemed young and so he chose to put me down
  • 5) They hate you: If a person hates you he wont want to see you succeeding at anything and that's why he will try to discourage you whenever he gets the chance. Beware of enemies who come disguised as friends (see Dealing with people who hate you at work)
  • 6) They are not well informed: Many people hate to say "I don't know" when they are asked about something. When people lack sufficient knowledge about what you are planning to do they might put you down just not to say "I don't know"
  • 7) They can't see the full picture: some people will put you down just because they can't see the full picture you saw. Those people might have good intentions but in the end they will do the same harm that others who bad intentions did

How to prevent people from discouraging you

There are two things you need to do in order to prevent people from discouraging you. The first is to not talk about your plans except in front of a person who really loves you. If you did otherwise you will risk being discouraged by those people.

The second thing you need to do is to reply back stating that you have solid faith in your plans while explaining why you have that faith. In such a case many of those who used to put you down might start believing in you and pushing you forward.

I have managed to become a self made millionaire at the age of 28. This didn't happen by chance because i already wrote that goal down five years before i accomplished it. Becoming rich is not about luck, starting big or being intelligent but its all about having certain beliefs about money and life.

In The Ultimate guide to becoming rich i will teach you everything that you need to know in order to become rich.

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