How attachment leads to worrying

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why worrying is based on attachment

For some reason ,that i still can't understand, most websites that give advice related to worrying say nonsense. If you suffer from a worrying problem then i have good news for you for i will tell you about things you probably haven't heard before.

First of all let's define worrying. Worrying is a negative state of mind that you get into when you believe that something bad might happen. You might for example worry about losing your job, about getting rejected or about failing to pay the bills.

In all cases worrying is all about being afraid to lose something that you already have or failing to get something that you really want. In other words worrying is a strong form of attachment to a certain thing.

This attachment is usually too strong that you will start to worry as soon that any threat appears even if it had a very little chance of happening. See What triggers worrying

In other words when you believe that there is any chance that you might lose that thing you are strongly attached to then you are certainly going to worry. See The desire to be in control promotes worrying.

Now you might wonder how can that explain a situation like worrying about the bills?
In such a case you are worried about losing the status quo which is your ability to pay your bills every month.

Think of any kind of worrying that you suffered from in the past and you will realize that at its root lies a deep attachment to something. See also Why do i worry when someone doesn't call

Why you can't stop this attachment

There are so many self help schools that are based on running away from one's problems and of course those schools never work. Some of those schools recommend that you don't get attached to anything in order not to feel bad but that's total nonsense.

The things that you are attached to reflect your beliefs, values, personality, upbringing and almost everything that is related to you. The things that you are attached to, including your dreams, are an integral part of you and this is why you can't just press a button to stop the attachment. See Emotional attachment to things

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that trying to claim that you don't really care about the things you really care about will always lead to depression. After all depression is nothing more than an emotion that your mind uses to tell you that some things truly matter to you to the extent that life becomes pointless when they are lost.

So how can you end worrying?

There is a very powerful thing that you can do in such a case to end worrying. The reason you are currently strongly attached to what you have is that you believe that you can hardly replace those things.

If for example you are too worried about losing your job then probably a part of you believes that finding another job is very hard or that you are not competent enough.

In such a case the root cause of your worrying is your doubts about your ability to find a job. In the Ultimate guide to becoming confident i said that worrying happens when we believe that we don't have enough skills to either protect what we have or to get it back again if we lost it.

In other words if you worked on your personal skills and if you raised your self confidence then you will become less attached to what you have and as a result you will worry less.

If for example you earn 1000 dollars a month then you are never going to worry about losing 1 dollar simply because you know that you will bring it back in case it was lost.

But in such a scenario you might worry a lot about losing 10,000 dollars for that's an amount that you can hardly earn in a short period of time.

Moral of the story : to stop worrying you need to work on your confidence until you believe that you can replace whatever you might lose.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

2knowmyself is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Want to know more?

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The real reasons behind worrying

The connection between worrying and self confidence

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