How to control a narcissist

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I have been there

Narcissists are very controversial people. Some people like them, others love them while a third group hates them completely.

Narcissists can be aggressive, insensitive, manipulative, charming and even dangerous. Because of this many narcissists manage to control others, manipulate them and eventually make them suffer.

But the good news i have for you is that you can easily control a narcissist and push them in the direction you want once you understand how their brains work.

In my previous article How i got over narcissism i explained how i managed to turn from a narcissist to a normal person who has a lot of empathy for others. This allowed me to see things from both sides. I know exactly how it is like to be a narcissist and i also know how it feels like to deal with a narcissist.

In this article i am going to tell you how to deal with narcissists and how to control them if needed. It might be very useful to check out my previous article The Narcissist, the Over Confident and the Inferior in order to understand how narcissists think.

How to control a narcissist

So how can you control a narcissist?

  • 1) Use reverse psychology: Reverse psychology works like magic with narcissists. If you want to motivate a narcissist to do something then let them know that you don't think they can do it. Telling a narcissist something like 'i doubt you can get good grades' will probably motivate them to study really well to prove you wrong. See How to use reverse psychology
  • 2) Praise them: A narcissist will like you if you praised them, glorified them and made them think that you look up to them. Once a narcissist likes you convincing them to do something will become a very easy task. See also Do narcissists hate being ignored
  • 3) Just listen to them: Narcissists love to talk about themselves. Just be an active listener and you will be surprised with the amount of information you will get to know about them. You don't even have to ask them for information but you should just set the direction of the conversation and then let them spill the information you want. See also Dealing with a narcissist in the work place
  • 4) Challenge them: If you want to push the narcissist in any direction you want just challenge them. Narcissists hate to lose or to even think about the possibility of losing. Once they are challenged they are certainly going to accept the challenge and thus follow your path almost blindly
  • 5) Impress them: Narcissists always feel proud of their deeds and of who they are. Once you show them that you can do one thing better than them they will get impressed and they might even try to become friends with you in order to know how you do that.

Narcissists are wounded

One very important thing you need to know about narcissist is that they are wounded people. In the Ultimate guide to becoming confident i said compensation is the number one strategy people who don't feel confident use in order to feel better about themselves.

Narcissists are usually wounded people who got rejected one time in the past or at least believed that they got rejected. Based on this wound narcissists became too sensitive for rejection that they decided to devalue any person who rejects or even criticize them.

Reject a narcissist or criticize them and they will hate you right away because you will be reminding them of their past wounds.

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Want to know more?

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