How to not be a beta male

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The Differences between the Alpha and the Beta Male

A beta male is the opposite of the Alpha male. While the Alpha Male is a dominant and confident person the Beta Male is a passive and self-inhibited person.

An Alpha male is a person who has a strong presence and who seems like the leader of the pack. Some people mistakenly think that the Alpha Male should be aggressive where as this is a totally wrong belief. An Alpha male is an assertive, confident and dominant person.

The Alpha Male can joke, laugh and be friendly to people but the one thing that the Alpha Male won't do is being passive or self-inhibited.

In my previous article Can an alpha male be shy i said that shyness makes people passive and self-inhibited. This is why shyness is hardly a trait that could make a person seem like an Alpha male.

The Beta Male on the other hand is a scared follower. Because the Beta Male usually has problems with Fear he decides to become a follower in order to avoid all kinds of conflicts. Passivity is the number one trait that differentiates between an Alpha and a Beta Male.

While an Alpha Male would speak out for himself the Beta Male is likely to suppress his emotions and turn his anger inwards. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that the person who turns his anger inwards always ends up getting depressed.

This is one reason why Beta males might feel depressed and unhappy about their lives.

How to not be a Beta Male

So how can a person avoid being a beta male?
Here are some important steps that you should take if you don't want to be a beta male:

  • 1) Deal with your fears: At the core of passiveness and self-inhibition lies fear. This fear can take so many different forms but in all cases it will make you a scared person who is afraid to speak up for himself and as a result you will become a Beta Male. See What causes fears and phobias
  • 2) Learn to be OK with Conflict: Don't get this wrong. You should never be aggressive or unfriendly to people but you should also be Totally OK with conflict if it ever happened
  • 3) Get over self inhibition: Whether it's shyness, fear, inferiority feelings or lack of self-confidence that is making you self-inhibited you should do your best to get over that thing. An Alpha male can't be a self-inhibited person who always thinks about his flaws and problems
  • 4) Learn how to be assertive: In the Ultimate guide to becoming confident i said that one of the common traits between all Alpha Males is assertiveness. Assertiveness is the skill that allows a person to stand up for themselves without being passive or aggressive. If you don't want to be a beta male then you must be assertive.
  • 5) Don't be a follower: Many people get this advice wrong. As soon as they hear it they become rebels who refuse to accept any kind of authority or co-operation. Alpha males can follow people in some occasions but when it comes to the important matters they will always have their own sense of direction. See How can a leader influence others

Don't be an aggressive Beta male

As soon as some people read about becoming Alpha males they go lengths and do extreme things in order to seem like Alpha males. Those people become unfriendly, aggressive and rough just to show others that they are solid.

All of those behaviors fall under the umbrella of compensation where a person goes lengths in one direction in order to prove to others that they have never been to the other direction.

Do your best to be an Alpha Male but don't get lost in the process not to end up being an aggressive Beta Male who is neither a good person nor an Alpha male.

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