What makes someone Charming

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What is charm

What makes a person charming?

Charm is a higher level of attraction where we get overly impressed by a person. There is no doubt that some people can be very charming because of their great physical looks but the good news i have for you is that you can still charm anybody no matter how you look like. See Why your looks might not matter at all in relationships.

Let's first define what a charming person is. Charming people are the ones who manage to invoke intense pleasant emotions in us usually in the first encounter.

But the one fact few people know is that to charm one person you need a different strategy than the strategy you need to charm another person. In my previous article Why you failed to impress the one you like i said that you can't impress a person by simply assuming that certain things will impress them.

Instead you have to understand that each person sees the world from his own angle and that once you understand a person you will know the right buttons to press in order to impress them. See Why do people see the world differently

How to charm people

Let's suppose that a woman always felt weak and insecure because her father wasn't there to provide for the family. In such a case there is a very high chance that displaying power, strength and masculine values can make this woman find you charming.

Of course this is a very simple example because it only took into consideration one of the needs of that woman. Now what do you think will happen if you managed to display traits that satisfied five major needs that this woman have?

In such a case that woman won't just get charmed by you but she will actually like you. In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that charming people is all about understanding what those people are looking for and not about broadcasting random traits.

Many self-help gurus say that being confident or self assured makes you more appealing. And while that can be true in many cases still this doesn't explain why some people like less confident people.

The key here is understanding what a person is looking for then providing them with the things they are looking for. If a woman always hated her abusive dominant father then she might actually prefer a less confident man in order to avoid going through the same trauma again. See Why you should meet the parents before dating someone.

Steps to charm someone

In my book Jane's Code i explained how a below average guy , at least when it comes to looks, managed to impress a very attractive woman.

What this guy did was that he started collecting information about her first until he knew exactly what could impress her. This is exactly what you need to do when you want to charm a person. You can't just assume that your good qualities will appeal to them before you know exactly what they are looking for.

So let's put this information in practical steps:

  • 1) Understand people first: The first thing you need to do in order to charm people is to understand them very well. Know their backgrounds, their needs, the way they think and anything else that you could find
  • 2) Spot their core needs: All humans have so many unmet needs but the ones that matter the most are the core needs. You will easily know those needs through the people's actions, the things they talk about often and their goals in life
  • 3) Project the right image: Once you know someone's core needs project the type of personality that can help them satisfy all of those needs. If done right you won't just charm those people but you will also make them fall in love with you

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