It's extremely puzzling to me how most websites , including those that belong to very large medical institutions, give totally nonsense advice when it comes to dealing with worrying.
Learn to embrace uncertainty and you will stop worrying. Ever heard this before?
This type of advice assumes that the worrier has a push button that he can press to suddenly start accepting uncertainty.
Or what about dedicating a special time for worrying?
I know you tried this and worried during that dedicated time , then worried later afterwards then kept worrying up till today.
Any person who suffered from worrying problems in their lives in the past , including me, knows that those nonsense advice are totally useless. The weird thing is, every person in the world is recommending them for an unknown reason. See Those methods will never help you stop worrying
So let's forget about those nonsense advice for now and find out what truly works.
Studies have shown that people get a temporary relief when they worry. This relief is only temporary because shortly the person feels bad as a result of the negative thoughts they think of.
Do you know what does this mean?
It means that your mind will feel uncomfortable when you stop worrying. Worrying can make us feel a little in control and this is why we panic when we lose this kind of control. After all if we weren't concerned about control in the first place then we wouldn't have worried.
What i am trying to say is that your mind worries when you stop worrying because it feels that it lost control. This explains exactly why keeping yourself busy, trying to forget about your worries or trying to suppress them will always backfire. See also Why do i worry more in the morning.
I talked earlier about how the mind fights back strongly when you try to suppress an emotion. Several studies have actually shown that as you try to suppress a certain emotion the emotion gets stronger.
When you attempt to do anything such as watching a movie, doing some work or even trying to exercise then your brain will believe that you are trying to suppress the emotion and as a result it will fight back by making you worry more often. See Thinking strategies that lead to worrying
Now the important question is, why your brain wants you to worry?
Does it want to make you feel bad?
In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how your subconscious mind uses the different emotions to motivate you to take certain actions.
The fact that you are worrying means that your subconscious mind is very concerned about a certain possibility even if it had a little chance of happening. Some professionals try to force people to stop worrying by telling them that their worries are unrealistic and of course this never works.
For the mind of a worrier if there is an 1% chance that it can happen then certainly it can happen. This is why you can't ask a worrier to stop worrying by telling him that his worries are irrational.
In order to help yourself stop worrying you need to prepare yourself for that worst case no matter how bad it is. Once your mind believes that you are OK with that worst case worrying will disappear. See The ultimate solution to end worrying
After all the goal your mind really wanted to reach is to get you prepared to face your worst fears. When you do that the worrying signal will be of no use.
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