Why do we feel ashamed to be renters

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Are you ashamed of being a renter?

Do you feel ashamed because you don't own a house?
Do you feel ashamed to admit that you are renting a house?
Do you try to his this fact from people?

If your answers were yes then let me tell you that you are not alone. So many people around the world feel ashamed to admit the fact that they are renters especially when it's the norm to own a house.

The first thing you must understand about human emotions is that they are always experienced in a social context. This is why shame about being a renter is more likely to be felt when most people around you own houses.

In my previous article about shame i said that we feel ashamed when we think that something is wrong with us. This kind of shame directly affects a person's self esteem and results in stronger feelings of shame and low self worth.

Why do we feel ashamed to be renters

But even if it's the norm that people own houses what's so shameful about being a renter?
The roots of the problems lie in how people value money and rich ones.

I have said before that we use the term net worth to describe a person's fortune. But the problem with such a term is that it makes it seem like a person's worth is directly connected to the amount of money he has.

Many people have lost their self confidence as a result of believing that they are not worthy because they don't have money. How many times have you heard something like 'this guy is worth millions'. When you hear such phrases your brain becomes forced to assume that having money means that you are worthy and that the opposite is true.

And since owning a house is a direct reflection of the person's financial status so many people feel ashamed to admit that they are living in rented houses.

In the Ultimate guide to becoming confident i said that self confidence is nothing more than a set of beliefs that a person develops.

Those beliefs are sometimes formed as a result of the way a person perceives the world. Once a person believes that having less money makes him less worthy then certainly his self confidence is going to be affected badly.

Shame & Inferiority feelings

Shame is also an emotion that is connected to feelings of inferiority. When a person feels inferior he becomes ashamed of who he is. When that happens anything that is directly connected to the person can be considered shameful.

This is also the same reason why some poor people might feel ashamed of their phones, cars or clothes where as a rich person can carry an old phone and live in a small house while feeling totally OK about it.

Once a person experiences some kind of inferiority he will become ashamed of anything that might make him seem less worthy than others just because deep within he believes he is not as worthy as others.

In other words it's too normal for a person to feel inferior when he doesn't own a house given the high weight people put on money and financial status. The soloution to this problem lies in fixing the incorrect belief which states that owning more money makes you more worthy.

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