Why do we like to talk - The psychology of talking

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Understand the intentions behind people's behaviour

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when trying to understand people is to look at their behaviors without looking at their intentions. The behaviors on their own could mean nothing if they were not analyzed in terms of the person's unconscious goals.

A person for example might smile at you, now this smile on its own could have so many different meanings based on that person's intentions.

The person could be smiling to you because they were taught to be nice to people or they could be smiling because they are interested in you. Now the real meaning of the smile can only be understood in light of the person's goals and intentions. See Is smiling a sign of interest.

One of the main problems with Freud's theories is that he analyzed drives on their own without trying to understand the drives in light of a larger ecosystem which includes, goals, intentions, unconscious goals, unmet needs and so on.

Why do we like to talk - The psychology of talking

If you understood the previous paragraph right then probably you have guessed that we like to talk because of too many different reasons.

A person could want to talk because this feeds their own egos. After all we are all egoistic beings and we like ourselves to a certain extent. The fact that we like ourselves motivates us to talk about ourselves and to tell others about us. See also Why we like to talk about ourselves.

We also like to talk in order to vent and get rid of the unwanted emotions we are experiencing. Talking is certainly one of the best ways that can help people get rid of unwanted emotions. When we express our emotions we allow ourselves to vent and this makes us feel better about ourselves.

We humans are social beings. We were designed to connect with others and to communicate with them. In many cases talking helps us in reaching some of our important social goals. We talk to make others like us, we talk to get to know others and we talk to expand and improve our social connections.

We also talk about things when we get emotionally charged or when we are concerned about them. In my previous article Why do we like to talk about our crushes i said that we talk about our crushes because this reminds us of them and as a result gives us a pleasant feeling.

Understand people's intentions

I could go on giving more examples but i will stop here because what really matters is that you get the bigger concept. We humans have many conscious and unconscious goals that we always try to achieve.

We do different behaviors in order to reach those goals and this includes talking. Whether those goals are social goals or any other type of goals we would still try to achieve them by doing so many different behaviors.

So in order to understand why a person is talking at a specific point of time you just need to understand their goals whether they are conscious or subconscious ones.

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