Why some online relationships fail after the first meeting

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

So many online relationships fail

Online relationships can be very tricky. While you might think that you are deeply in love with a person you might actually be talking to a person who is not by any means suitable for you.

Some people know each other online then keep talking for a sometime while believing that they have found their perfect match. But when those people meet in real life for the first time they might feel disconnected and the relationship might fail before it even starts.

In eastern countries Some parents try to set up one of their siblings with someone else they know and then they motivate them to talk online. The parents feel comfortable doing so because they know the parents of the person their sibling is dating. The result however can be a mess as well and a great embarrassment to both families.

The two people who were introduced to each other online might talk for sometime then lose interest in each other. This usually happens after the first real life meeting.

The problem with online relationships

So you might be wondering what's so wrong with an online relationship? Isn't love all about feeling connected to someone no matter how they look like in real life?

Well let me answer those questions through the following points:

  • 1) Looks matter even when they don't matter: Even if someone doesn't care at all about looks they will still get repelled or attracted to certain types of people. We get attracted to certain types of people because they seem like they can help us satisfy some of our own psychological needs. In other words when we look for a certain type of person we don't really look for them because their looks are good but we look for them because their looks signify something. It's your beliefs about certain physical looks that determines the type of person you will find attractive. See See why some people have types.
  • 2) The personality changes one's looks: In my book The psychology of physical attraction i said that so many studies have shown that we see people in a totally different light after we get to know their personalities. A part of a person's personality is the way they talk, how they move their bodies and how they react to certain events. Many of these things can hardly be known through an online relationship unless you are video chatting with someone
  • 3) People look very different in pictures: Don't get this part wrong. Looks might not be that important but they still signify so many important things to a person's subconscious mind. This is why you might get repelled by some good looking people who have certain facial features that you don't like. See why we like certain facial features
  • 4) Online relationships might be based on love addiction: Love addicts are the people who are so broken and unable to face their life that they are too dependent on others for support. A love addict can't survive without love not because they truly fall in love but because they otherwise remain broken. Love addicts are more likely to get attached to someone online even if they haven't seen their pictures. See 5 Signs you are a love addict
  • 5) The connection isn't real: When people get attached to others online the connection that happens between them usually isn't real. This means that people can think that they have emotions towards someone while they might just be feeling happy because they found someone to talk to or to share their emotions with.

Are all online relationships bad?

Not all online relationships are bad but so many of them don't work. If you get attached to people very easily when you talk to them online then this might be a warning sign.

Asking yourself the following questions can really help you know whether this relationship is right or wrong.

Am i a love addict?
Can i survive alone?
Do i know how the person i like looks like?
Do i really know what i want from a relationship?
Am i in love or do i just need support?

Again i am not saying that all relationships that start online are bad but you just have to be very careful if you got too attached to someone before meeting them in real life.

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Want to know more?

Why do we get attached to fictional characters

4 things that can get you attached to a stranger quickly

Tips for Long Distance Relationships

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