Why telling people about your crush is a bad idea

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why we like to talk about our crushes

As soon as something good or bad happens to us we automatically feel like telling others about it. The theory behind this is simple. We humans get emotionally charged as a result of the significant events that happen to us in our lives. The level of emotional arousal that happens to a person after a certain event certainly varies from one person to another but in all cases once a person gets emotionally aroused they will feel like talking about the matter. See also Why we talk to ourselves.

When we talk about something we get rid of some of the emotional load that we are carrying and as a result we feel better. In other words talking about our issues can be considered one form of expressive therapy where emotions are allowed to vent. See should i tell my friends about my problems

As soon as we like someone or find them interesting we might get emotionally charged. Those emotions might become intense in such a way that we might feel like venting them and as a result we might feel like telling our friends about our crushes.

Why telling people about your crush is a bad idea

The serious problem that happens when we talk about our crushes is that our attachment level to them grows much higher. If you were attracted to your crush 30 percent then after talking about them you might become attached to them by 60 or even 70%.

In my previous article How to not get attached to a person i said that when you talk about your crush you actually program your mind to like them even more. As the topic gets visited more often by you and your friends your future fantasies will become very strong and you might get strongly attached to that person.

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i actually said that making people think about you more often is the perfect way to program their minds to make them love you. In the book i said that being mysterious can force people to think about you even more and as a result they will start programming themselves to like you.

By talking about your crush often you are actually using the spell on yourself and allowing your own mind to program itself to like them even more. See also 4 things that can get you attached to a stranger quickly

This programming cycle won't stop here because your friends in turn will remind you of the matter every now and then and thus program your mind even further. And just as you may have already guessed the result will be total attachment to that person. See Programming the subconscious mind

More pain if it didn't work

In case the relationship didn't work you will have to go through the same pain every time you explain why it didn't work to your friends. If you told 10 people about your crush for example then you will have to repeat the story 10 times if anything bad happened.

The problems won't stop here because you might also get reminded of the issue by a random friend as you try to forget what happened. This can lead to a relapse very easily. See Why mentioning your ex in a status update is a bad idea.

While talking to your friends about your crush in early stages might seem like an attractive idea still it's a dangerous game that can cause a lot of emotional harm to you in case things didn't go right.

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Want to know more?

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