Why the Friendzone doesn't exist

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why people friendzone others

In my previous article Why you got friendzoned i said that so many factors can lead to the decision of letting a person consider someone no more than a friend.

People friendzone others because they are not their type, they failed to satisfy their core unmet needs and many other factors.

But the important question people ask is, can a man and a woman become friends once one of them gets friendzoned?
Psychology says no, let's see how this happens.

Why Friendzones don't work

The problem with considering a person just a friend is that it can lead to attachment later on if you saw that person often.

I am pretty sure you heard of cases where people friendzoned others only to end up truly liking them. Here is exactly why it happens:

  • 1) Familiarity leads to attraction: In my book The psychology of physical attraction i said that as we become more and more familiar with a person we tend to find them more likeable. If you decided to friendzone someone and kept seeing them often then shortly you might find those people very attractive
  • 2) Your criteria can be exploited: I said earlier that we fall in love with those who match our unconscious criteria or satisfy our unmet needs. In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that a person can easily exploit your criteria once they understand them. A person can thus show you that they are the one who can satisfy your unmet needs and so you might fall in love with them
  • 3) Your criteria might change: If you friendzoned a person because he didn't match your criteria then your criteria changed then you might end up getting attracted to that same person you friendzoned. When you get a person closer to you then you will be giving them a strong advantage that they can use to make you fall for them later on. See Why you fell out of love
  • 4)Emotional pressure can let you submit: If you friendzoned a person because you think they are not good for you then you were subjected to emotional pressure you might actually develop emotions for them. Under the pressure of stress, bad moods or the different bad emotions you might feel like connecting with a person who already likes you. This can force you to get attached to a person you considered a friend earlier. See Can men and women ever just be friends
  • 5) The available options might determine your choices: In my article How the available options affect the relationship partner choice i said that the availability of few options can force you to choose from the people you friendzoned earlier even if you don't really like them.

Don't friendzone person you aren't interested in

As you can see you can easily fall in love with a person who is not suitable for you just because you friendzoned them. If you knew that a person likes you but you were not interested in them then you have to become distant instead of friendzoning them.

By keep a person close to you they will be given a golden opportunity to attract you to them even if you were not initially interested in them.

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