Why tinder relationships don't work

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

1- The problem with having too many choices

When we have too many options to choose from we usually become much more selective. In my previous article How the available options affect the relationship partner choice i said that when a person finds that they have many fans they end up becoming highly selective.

The problem with this phenomenon is that it sometimes makes people overly selective to the extent that a very small detail can turn them away from something or someone.

This is the first problem with Tinder. When a person has too many choices to choose from they start becoming extremely selective. And since Tinder is based mostly on looks people start giving looks a much higher priority than the priority it would have been given in real life relationships.

It's not uncommon for a person to swipe away a Tinder recommendation just because they think they can get someone with a better nose shape or slightly different eyes. See Why tinder is bad for your mental health , confidence and life & Why are some people very picky

2- Tinder makes people extremely fickle

The previous problem of being overly selective is not the real problem with Tinder for the real problem is how it makes people extremely fickle.

We humans are lazy creatures. We avoid doing hard work whenever possible especially if there was an easier way to do things. Before we do any action we asses the amount of energy needed to do it and then we decide whether it's worth doing or not.

The biggest problem with Tinder is that it makes finding a new match as easy swiping with your finger once. As soon as a relationship turns into a hard work or as soon as a person finds some kind of disagreement happening with their match they might choose the ease path which is swiping for someone else.

Tinder relationships are extremely fickle because at any point a person can spend few minutes swiping to find another partner. See also Why you should meet the parents before dating someone

In short Tinder makes people extremely intolerant to relationship dissatisfaction which is one of the things that always happens in any relationship.

3- Tinder can cause infidelity

A typical person swipes too many people right before they get a match. Now here is the big problem with such an approach. When a person gets a match and they start talking their way into a relationship a swipe that was done earlier might bring another match all of a sudden.

Imagine you being with someone who decided to date you based on your looks alone then they woke up the next day to find three more matches from people who look much better than you. How stable can this relationship be?

If the person has extremely high moral and ethical standards then probably they will never respond to those matches or even delete the app.

And of course we both know that this is a very rare thing these days. See Why people cheat & 7 reasons cheating feels so good

And even if the person was very ethical. How would they act after the next fight?
What if you broke up for three days and then that person decided to use Tinder to find someone else during those few days?

This is why having a Tinder relationship is like walking on a thin ice that can be broken anytime.

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