Why we like the ones who look like us

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

People don't always like the ones who look like them

Before i begin let me make it very clear that this theory is not a fixed rule that applies in all cases. In my previous two articles Do likes attract and do people get attracted to those who are as physically attractive as them i made it very clear that people who look alike don't have to be attracted to each other.

In fact i am pretty sure that you have seen many couples who don't look alike by any means getting together very well. However in some cases some people tend to get attracted to the ones who look like them.

This is why you might see a couple and realize that they are very close to each other in looks. In this article i will explain the cases where people get attracted to the ones who resemble them the most.

Why some people like the ones who look like them

  • 1) Seeking Familiarity: In my book The psychology of physical attraction i said that people usually get attracted to the ones who look familiar to them. This is one reason Why we get attracted to the ones who resemble our parents. Nothing can make a person feel more familiar around someone than if they were looking like them.
  • 2) Seeking Continuity: We humans have the unconscious desire of preserving our race, our kind and our own selves. Sometimes the reason we choose people who look like us is the unconscious desire to preserve our own kind. See Why interracial dating might not work
  • 3) Narcissism: Narcissists might only get attracted to the people who resemble them as a result of believing that they belong to a superior kind. Because Narcissists are literally in love with themselves they might only get attracted to the ones who look like them. See Why do women find Narcissists so Attractive
  • 4) Playing it safe: In some cases people might go for the ones who resemble them just to play it safe. People who are cautious by nature might prefer to be with someone who looks like them just to avoid any kind of unexpected surprises. See Why are some people overly cautious
  • 5) Liking their own looks: A person who likes their own looks might choose people who look like them. This is not a rule but in some cases it can happen. See also 5 reasons A Mirror Can't Really Tell You How You Look Like

It's not a rule

The important thing you need to realize is that while some people might choose to be with the ones who resemble them still it's not a rule and in most cases it's not a requirement. Most people can still be happy with partners who don't look like them or resemble them.

As i explained earlier in my article about love maps people get attracted to others based on so many different factors that are included in their own love maps.

Those factors can have different weights and arrangements based on a person's background, past experience, values and so many other factors. This is why we can't simplify this complex process into one simple theory by claiming that all people like the ones who look like them.

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