Why you attract the ones you don't care about

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Attracting the wrong people

So many people wonder why they attract the ones they don't care about yet fail to make the ones they truly love fall in love with them.

And yes this is not a coincidence because if you meet a lot of people then probably you noticed that there is some kind of a pattern where you always attract people whom you are not really interested in.

So the important question you should be asking yourself is, why do some people get attracted to you even though you seem not to care about them?

In fact the answer to the question lies in the question itself. You are attracting those people because you don't care about them. Let me explain this more.

Why you attract the ones you don't care about

Let's suppose that a woman got engaged to man. Probably that man had a certain level of interest in this woman and this is why he got engaged to her. Now what do you think will happen if this women kept sending that man messages all the time , calling him every 5 minutes and chasing him all the time?

Here is exactly what will happen:

  • 1) The man will consider her less worthy: We humans are hard wired to believe that scarce things are valuable and the opposite is also true. Even if this man liked this woman he will find her less and less attractive as she keeps making herself more and more available. This is why in my guide How to make someone fall in love with you i said that being overly available is one of the mistakes that could destroy your relationship
  • 2) The man will lose interest: When we believe we have an overly supply of something we will start to care less about that thing and as a result we will become less interested in it. In such a case that man will slowly lose interest in this woman because of believing that he can get her anytime he wants. See 3 ways to instantly become more attractive

So what does this have to do with attracting the people you don't care about?

Simply because when treating the people you don't care about you never become needy, you never chase them, you never suffocate them and you just become nice and distant.

That's exactly the opposite of what you do when you truly like someone. You become very needy, you keep chasing that person all the time and you make it seem like you can't wait to see them or talk to them. See also Why women don't like needy men.

If you want to be very attractive then you need to make sure that you are less available. This can be achieved by doing very simple things such as calling less often or not texting all the time.

Now if you can't prevent yourself from doing that then know that there might be another serious self esteem problem behind your desire to always connect with that person all the time. Normal people feel like wanting to connect with the ones they love but they don't do it all the time in such a way that they push away their lovers.

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