Why your attempts to feel good are not working

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why your attempts to feel good are not working

Why is everything you are doing failing to make you feel good?
Why everything you have tried never seemed to work?
Why do you think nothing is changing even though you are doing your best?

Every person tries to feel good by doing certain things and taking certain actions. However the main problem is that most people get eluded on their path to seek happiness and thus end up doing things that can't really change their moods.

Every single bad emotion that you experience has a purpose. The key to ending a bad mood or getting over a bad emotion is understanding its purpose then doing the right action.

While this might seem like a very simple formula most people actually do the total opposite. They see the emotion as a problem or even as a disease that needs to be cured and this is why they focus solely on trying to remove the emotion in any possible way instead of understanding it.

This is also why some people label themselves with popular labels such as bipolar or borderline. People label themselves with those labels, sometimes with the help of psychologists, instead of understanding those emotions and treating them the right way. See Why most psychologists don't really help

A person who i know believes that she is bipolar since more than 10 years. She thinks that her emotional changes are caused by the fact that she has a bipolar disorder that can't be cured. She did so many things to feel good but she still experiences wild mood things.

And the reason is simple, she did every possible thing to get rid of the emotions without actually understanding why she is getting them in the first place. See How to get over bipolar depression

You are providing the wrong soloution

Can you open a door without the correct key?
Of course you can't for you need the right key to get inside.

Now try every possible key that you can find but the right one and the door will never open.
The same exactly happens with emotions.

Your mind sends you certain emotions because it wants to point your attention to a certain problem.
It wants you to take a certain action for this emotion to go away. See How to get rid of bad emotions.

Let's suppose that you got depressed after failing to start a successful business. In such case the depression has the purpose of putting you on track.

Your brain wants to tell you that starting a business is extremely important for you that nothing else would matter to it until you try again. Now if you did any kind of action but starting a business then your depression will remain simply because you never responded to your mind properly.

You are not sick, your genes are fine but you are just ignoring the most important thing that matters to you. See also The ultimate solution to all of your problems.

Now the reason your bad emotions are not going away is that you are not trying to fix the root cause but you are just trying to distract yourself.

There is only one soloution

When you get a bad mood know that there is only one soloution. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that once you provide a soloution to the main problem that caused the depression or the bad mood then you will start to feel good right away.

It's exactly like using the right key to open a door instead of trying many wrong ones.
You can certainly feel good if you did the right thing and the reason you were feeling bad for years is that you were always using the wrong keys.

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