Can shyness make you attractive

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Shyness is a personality disorder

Shyness is a personality disorder that could be a symptom for a more serious problem such as low self esteem or intense feelings of inferiority.

In my previous article Why is shyness seen as a bad thing i said that some people might make bad conclusions about you when they realize that you are a shy person.

People could judge you as a self inhibited person, a one who lacks social skills or a one who lacks self confidence. But because people are different and because each person sees the world from a different angle shyness can be seen in different ways based on who is looking at you. See Why do people see the world differently

Shyness can make you mysterious

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that mysteriousness is one of the things that can make a person seem much more attractive.

I said that when people see a mysterious person they quickly jump to conclusions about him and start assuming that he has a wide array of good traits. Now if a person failed to interpret your shyness as self inhibition he might see it as mysteriousness and this can make you seem more attractive to that person.

Shyness, feminism and dominance

Shyness is considered an attractive trait by many men because of the popular belief that a shy woman seems more feminine. In fact some men find extroverted women intimidating.

After all many men just want a stable relationship and so an extroverted woman who knows lots of men might seem like a threat. Some men get intimidated by those women and prefer the ones who are shy.

Of course this is usually a sign that the man likes to play it safe and that he doesn't have enough self esteem to believe that his woman won't leave him. See Causes of low self esteem

In addition to that most men like to feel dominant and strong around women. Shy women give men the opportunity to appear strong and dominant and so men can feel better around them. See why some men don't like strong women.

Do women like shy men

When it comes to attractiveness there are general rules that apply in most cases however this doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions. Generally women like the man who is strong , dominant and protective.

This is why shyness might be considered a negative trait by some women especially if it was seen as a sign of weakness. See How to become an alpha male

Some women however , usually the minority, prefer shy and introverted men. There are many reasons behind that preference but one of them could be wanting to make sure that the man will never leave them for someone else.

Shyness can be considered a threat

In many cases people might fail to understand that someone is shy and instead they might assume that the person doesn't want to socialize with them. This might result in social tensions as people believe that the shy person doesn't really like them.

In my article 3 Reasons people feel uncomfortable around introverts i said that people usually feel uncomfortable around the ones they don't understand. This includes silent types and shy people.

So in short shyness can in some cases be seen as an attractive trait but in other cases it might be seen as a bad thing depending on who is watching.

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Want to know more?

What causes shyness - The psychology of shyness

How to overcome shyness

Can shyness be genetic

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