why do narcissists devalue and discard people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How Narcissists think

One of the very important facts some people don't know about Narcissists is that they are wounded people who usually have serious problems with their self esteem.

While Narcissists usually appear charming, confident brilliant and absolutely impressive still deep inside they feel that they are somehow inferior to others. See Why narcissists look so good and young.

This type of inferiority the Narcissist has is called the Narcissistic wound and it could develop because of many reasons including , but not limited to, being neglected in the past, being ignored by significant others or developing an inferiority complex. See also What makes a person a narcissist.

The Narcissist's life then revolves around this Narcissistic wound. The Narcissist does their best to ensure that this wound is never touched again either directly or indirectly. This is why Narcissists become extremely aggressive when someone touches their wound. See Why are narcissists so dangerous.

why do narcissists devalue and discard people

So why do Narcissists devalue people all of a sudden including their close friends?
And why can a Narcissist instantly consider someone totally worthless even if they loved them moments ago.

The answer is very simple. Narcissists devalue any person who devalues them in a way that reminds them of their original wounds. See also Why Narcissists hate you.

Let's suppose that a person was ignored by their parents in such a way that they felt worthless. In such a case this person might turn into a Narcissist just to prevent further devaluation from happening to them by others.

That person will then try to construct an image of superiority to cover the feelings of inferiority they already feel. For the subconscious mind of a Narcissist this will seem like a perfect plan to make the person feel worthy except for one thing.

Some people will just refuse to believe that the Narcissist is superior. Once Narcissists realize that those people are trying to deny them they will revolt by devaluing them and considering them worthless. See also Why your world revolves around your psychological wounds

Why the Narcissist devalued you

Now that you know the main concept it's time to know the details. A Narcissist could have devalued you because any of the following reasons:

  • 1) You ignored them: If you ignored a Narcissist in any possible way ,even without intending to do it, then probably they will hate you for it because you reminded them of their old wounds. See also Do narcissists hate being ignored
  • 2) You didn't glorify them: Narcissists don't just want your attention but they also want your approval. Narcissists want you to approve the superior identities that they have created and if you didn't do so then they will certainly devalue you.
  • 3) You criticized them: Not all critical comments hurt a Narcissist. The types of criticism that make Narcissists feel really bad are public comments that seem to challenge their authority, knowledge or superiority in any possible way.

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