Why do we like to talk about our crushes

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do we like to talk

Why do we like to talk about our crushes?
Why do we keep telling the same story over and over to friends?
Why do we hardly get bored of the same exact subject?

I am pretty sure you noticed that when some of us like someone they keep talking about them all day. It's not uncommon for a friend to keep repeating to you the same story over and over until you get really bored.

In order to understand why we like to talk about our crushes you first need to understand why we like to talk. Just like any other behaviour talking is an action that helps the person fulfill a certain psychological need.

If for example a person got frustrated then they might feel like talking about what happened to them in order to express some of their suppressed emotions. This is why some people talk about the bad things that happen to them and this is also why many people write about those things on social media. See Facebook addiction Psychology

In my previous article Why we like to talk about ourselves i said that we sometimes like to talk about ourselves in order to elevate our self worth and to feel good about ourselves.

In other words we talk for various reasons but in all cases there will be a psychological goal that we will be trying to achieve through that talk. See What are the subconscious goals and how they affect your life.

Why do we like to talk about our crushes

So why do we like to talk about our crushes?
Here are the reasons:

  • 1) To vent suppressed emotions: When we like someone but can't get them to like us we might get very frustrated. When the frustration increases we will feel like talking about that matter in order to reduce the frustration. See Writing Therapy & Journaling
  • 2) To give ourselves hope: Once we start talking about a topic we give ourselves hope indirectly. This happens because the subconscious mind realizes that you are currently searching for a soloution for the current problem. In my book The 5 Minute Happiness Formula i said that we experience a relief as soon as we signal to the subconscious mind that we are trying to deal with an issue that bothers it
  • 3) Our minds want a soloution: In my article What causes obsessive checking i said that we become obsessed with some things because we failed to provide solutions that make sense to the subconscious mind. If the subconscious mind didn't find a proper soloution for an important matter then it will keep reminding you of it. The result would be feeling like you want to talk about that matter over and over
  • 4) It feels good: The bittersweet feelings resulting from the mixture of hope and confusion can be pleasant to most people. People can get motivated to talk about their crushes to experience that pleasant feelings.

Why you should not do this

In my previous article Why telling people about your crush is a bad idea i said that the more you talk about a person or a potential relationship the more you get attached to that person.

If the relationship didn't work you will find yourself feeling very bad because of the high level of attachment you created. Only talk about your crush when things are about to get serious.

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Want to know more?

How to know the type your crush likes

How to know if you have a chance with your crush

Why do we mistakenly think that some people like us

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)

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