Why tinder is bad for your mental health , confidence and life

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The problem with swiping

We humans find things to be very valuable when they are scarce and we also find the same things less interesting when we have plenty of them.

The reason a Ferrari seems too attractive to people is that it's hardly attainable and scarce. Now if the next morning they started giving away free Ferrari's that every person in the neighborhood owned one the car will seem far less interesting to you.

This is exactly what Tinder is doing to people's brains.
When you get so many options and when you become able to change the option by just swiping away then suddenly people become much less interesting.

This leads to the following:

  • 1) People become fickle on Tinder: If a person didn't like the slightest thing about you then they will just swipe away and find someone else. The connections become very fickle and people become much less invested in a relationship
  • 2) People become extremely picky: In a previous article i said that the more options a person has the more picky they will become. Now what Tinder does to people is that it gives them almost unlimited options and thus it makes them extremely picky.
  • 3) Too many rejections: Based on the two previous points people are much more likely to get rejected on Tinder not because they are bad but because Tinder users have became too fickle and picky. See Why rejection hurts

Why Tinder can damage your self-esteem

If you started swiping but didn't get matches then probably you are going to interpret this event in a way that would ruin your confidence. And because Tinder depends heavily on looks you might start to assume that you are unattractive, uninteresting and even ugly.

In fact Tinder can be a very strong cause for self image problems and lack of satisfaction with one's looks. See also How to like your looks

And even if a match worked. The too fickle person you are talking to will likely unmatch you if you did the slightest mistake. This might in turn make you think that you are boring and uninteresting while the whole problem is that people act this way when they are given too many options.

In other words the problem is not with you but it's with the system of Tinder. And even after knowing those facts you will still get very hurt if you didn't get enough matches simply because a part of you will be telling you that something about you isn't that good.

In the Ultimate guide to becoming confident i said that our self confidence levels keep changing based on the meanings we give to the situations we go through.

After moments of swiping and getting no results your self confidence might get much lower as a result of the interpretation you gave to such an event.

The problem with Tinder addiction

Another big part of the problem is the addictive nature of the App. When a person gets a match they will become eager to get more matches. A person who is talking to you on Tinder might be talking to 10 other different people.

Now i am pretty sure you understand how fickle can people become when they talk to more than one match. The dopamine surge that results from the pleasant expectations of getting more matches motivates people to keep searching for novel partners even after they have found a match.

It's not uncommon for a person to date you through Tinder then during the date they get a notification that they got another match. And if they saw the new match as a better option then probably you know how your date will go.

All of these factors combined can result in very low self esteem, poor self image, unstable relationships, self doubts and too many negative thoughts.

Tinder isn't just bad for your mental health.
Tinder can actually ruin your life.

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Want to know more?

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