Why we like people we used not to like

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What just happened

You used to see that person often but you never liked them.
And then one day that person started to seem more attractive
And then that person kept becoming attractive that you started liking them.

Does this sound familiar?
I know it does.

So what exactly happened here?

Some people think that attraction only happens when people like each others' looks but that's only a part of the story. Physical looks are extremely important, no one can deny that. But here are some interesting facts about attraction and physical looks:

  • 1) The perception of physical looks can be changed: In my book The psychology of physical attraction i said that people's perception of your physical attraction can change based on many variables. This means that a person who previously thought that you are not that attractive might actually find you more attractive later on
  • 2) We see people differently as we get to know them: When you get to know a person you are very likely to see them in a very different way. This is why you might start getting attracted to a person you previously considered not that attractive. See How men and women perceive attractiveness

Why we like people we used not to like

Now that you understand the main concept it's time to know why exactly a certain person might start to seem more attractive to you all of a sudden:

  • 1) Social proof: If you realized that many people like a certain person you will automatically find them more attractive. According to the social proof theory we tend to believe in things when we find that many people believe in them. See also How to be desirable
  • 2) You see them often: There is doubt that seeing a person over and over makes them more attractive. As we get used to how people look like we tend to find them more attractive. See How does proximity affect attraction
  • 3) More of our needs are being met: In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that as more of our needs get met we tend to get more attracted to the person meeting those needs. In other words if the person was satisfying 3 of our unmet needs then later this person satisfied 7 needs they will become very attractive to us
  • 4) The person has confused us: In my previous article 3 ways to instantly become more attractive i explained how we find people more attractive when they send us mixed signals. Mixed signals force us to think about the person who sent them and as a result we get more attracted to that person
  • 5) Peer pressure: Peer pressure is one of the factors that can alter your attraction preferences. If your friends kept convincing you that someone is attractive then you can actually find them more attractive. See also How peer pressure affects you

You always have a chance

The good news you should have already concluded is that you always have a chance.
Even if someone doesn't like you today or find you attractive you can never know what will happen tomorrow.

This doesn't mean that you should cling to people who clearly reject you but it just means that you can always have a chance as long as the door is still open.

Charming people might seem like a very hard thing if you don't know how to do it. But the good news i have for you is that i created something that can help you charm any person, anywhere and anytime. Check out the Master of charm course.

Want to know more?

Why we get attracted to people when we are not single

Why do we get attracted to people who resemble our parents

Why attractiveness is subjective

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