The Ultimate Source for Understanding Yourself and others

Blaming others for your problems

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Blaming others for your problems

We all dealt with people who blame others all the time and who try to be right by making others wrong.

Such people are usually afraid to admit that they share a part of the responsibility and so feel more comfortable when someone else carries the blame for a bad thing that happened to them.

Sometimes the act of blaming others can be a cry of pain and a request for support. When the person desperately wants someone else to fix something for him he might blame him in order to motivate him to take actions.

All of these kinds of blame are obvious and can be noticed by any person without difficulty but there is a more dangerous type of blaming that is too vague to be noticed and that is in the same time so powerful and effective to the extent that the person who gets the blame might feel that he is wrong even if he was right.

Blaming others the vague way

"You are Selfish and you only think about yourself"

While this statement can be said to a selfish person it can also come out of a person who was hurt and who found no other way to feel better other than blaming someone else for the pain he feels.

Instead of saying I felt bad because you left me alone that day he denied the responsibility by throwing the blame on someone else.

The same goes for telling someone that he is arrogant instead of admitting that you were afraid that he didn’t like you. Sometimes we give labels to other people such as selfish, arrogant or stubborn in order to get rid of the responsibility and to escape from solving our problems.

It’s much harder to take actions, to solve our problems and to get rid of our emotional wounds than to just blame someone else for our pain.

How to stop blaming others?

  • Your childhood & blaming others::If you blame others for your problems then most probably you are still attached to the way you used to be as a child. Children always blame others because they haven’t yet learned how to be responsible for their actions.
  • Acceptance and blame: Blaming others is usually an indication of the lack of ability to accept and cope with different situations that occur. Learning how to accept things the right way will certainly help you stop blaming others.
  • Weakness & Blaming others:The person who blames others is usually in the week position and he tries to gain some power over the situation by blaming other people. If you want to stop blaming others then you should learn how to become in control of your life, how to be stronger and how to face different life problems.

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