I experienced times where I was so weak and I had days where I was so strong. Sometimes a problem used to break me and make me helpless while in other times I found myself motivated to solve a bigger problem!!
I was confused and I really wanted to understand why do we sometimes find ourselves emotionally strong and why do we sometimes find ourselves weak?
After researching and reading I reached the answer. The more we are in control and the more we initiate the actions the more we feel powerful while the more we blame the external factors the more we become emotionally weak.
Do you know what's the difference between a dunk and a three shot in basketball?
In the case of a dunk you have to be in control of the ball up until you score a goal while in the case of a three shot you just throw the ball and hope it reaches its destination.
while in basket ball the three shot is better than a dunk in real life the dunk is the only method that would prevent you from feeling helpless since the ball will be in your hand to the last moment.
A helpless person is someone who faces a problem but never takes an action to solve it while a self motivated person is someone who might be having the same problem but who is working eagerly to solve it. (see Why do i lack motivation).
The only difference between the two is that the first does nothing and just watches what’s going on while the second takes actions as soon as he faces the problem.
Suppose that two people were told that they are so fat, if one of them started a diet that same day, started reading about healthy food and started exercising the next day he will feel completely in control and will experience emotional strength. (see How to lose weight naturally).
If the other guy did nothing and just blamed the factors that made him become obese he will become helpless and depressed. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression I explained how unsolved problems can be the root cause of depression. The only way to prevent depression is to prevent the accumulation of such problems by solving them on the spot.
So its clear now that taking immediate actions makes us emotionally stronger but the problem is that we are never allowed to take actions right away Because we are stuck in rigid systems. (see Recovering from setbacks).
The corporate employee who suddenly faces a big problem has to keep himself busy until the weekend comes so that he finds time to think about his problem and sadly in the weekend he prefers to have fun instead of trying to find a solution for this problem.
The student who has exams has to remain helpless until the exams are over so that he can regain control over his life once again. Its as if our life styles that are based on fixed routines makes us helpless by not allowing us to fight back as soon as we encounter a problem.
If you want to become emotionally stronger then you have to free yourself from the rigid system you are living in. As soon as you encounter a problem, take few days off from college or work and focus on finding a solution or writing a plan so that you regain the sense of being in control.
If its not possible to take few days off then decide that you will sleep for 6 hours instead of 8 and that you won’t watch television for few days so that you free two more hours and then dedicate those four hours everyday for finding a solution.
The faster you will react to a problem the more you will feel in control and the stronger your emotional strength will become.
The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.
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