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Unstable self image
By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
Unstable self image
Your self image is the imagined mental picture you have in your mind about your looks. your self image mainly represents your physical looks however it can include personality traits that are related to your looks. For example a person might think that he looks intelligent while another one might think that he looks dumb.
An unstable self image means having a self image that changes according to the situation and according to the people you meet. Some people might call it "Body Dysmorphic disorder" which a condition where a person might believe that he is ugly because of an imagined defect in his looks.
Why would someone have an unstable self image?
In The Solid Self confidence program i said that a person might believe that his looks give the impression that he is dumb!!
This belief might have been developed in his early childhood when his teacher or colleagues used to call him dumb. As the guy grew up he found himself intelligent but since everyone used to call him dumb the only conclusion his mind reached was that he looks like a dumb person even though he is intelligent!! (see Dealing with self image issues).
So we can conclude that both criticism and rejection shape the person's self image. That’s why after being rejected for a few times a person with an unstable self image might believe that he is ugly or bad looking and then few moths later when he forgets about these rejections he might start to feel good about his looks once again.
How to have a stable self image
In order to have a stable self image you need to build self confidence in your self image. You need to understand that you don’t look dumb, geeky or ugly and that your unstable self image is mainly the result of the criticism and rejection you received earlier. (see am i ugly or pretty).
Building self confidence in your looks can be achieved by succeeding in your social life and by being around people who love you and take care if you.
Usually those who have unstable self image chase those who reject them and so reinforce the false belief that they have about their looks. Instead of doing so those people should have moved in the easier direction and established new relationships that have higher possibility of success.
It’s the feelings of neglect that further reinforces the wrong idea the person has about his looks. After all if everybody is ignoring you then your subconscious mind will surely associate this with your ugly looks however If you found care and love somewhere else then the problem will disappear.
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