External self Confidence

how do you feel when being criticized

How did it feel the last time you were criticized?
How did it feel the last time your manager told you that your performance was below standards?
How did it feel the last time you have done something then you were told that it was not that good?

Probably you felt bad, But do you know why did you feel so? , Because you have got an external self confidence and not an internal one.

you are not what you do nor what you have

Many people out there think that they are what they do, or that they are what they have. They think that if they did something wrong that they are faulty, they think that if they did things that everyone liked then they are good. They tie their opinion of themselves and their self worth to external events and objects instead of their own inner feeling of self worth.

Once a friend of mine did some writing work, and upon finishing it everyone told him that what he wrote was not that good. He then felt worthless, down and remained depressed for a few days. Do you know why did he feel so? Because he thought that if his writings were bad then this does mean that he is bad too, he thought that if his work was not liked by people then he may not be a worthy person. He thought that he is “his writings” instead of thinking that this writing is one of the many tasks he performs.

Some people go beyond that and think that they are what they have. They may think that they are their cars, they are their big houses,they are their emotions or they are their current profession. There is only one problem with that way of thinking, which is as soon as they lose any of these external objects they loose their self worth with them, because they were not john or marry, they were not Paul nor peter, they were the big car and the good job, they were the achievements and the fame, and so after they lost them, they became nothing.

life moves in cycles

Know that life moves in cycles and whatever goes up must come down, the hundreds of friends you currently have now may disappear one day, the fame and glory you have now may be forgotten by people, the money you have collected may be lost within months, know that if you think that way then your confidence will move in a yoyo like motion according to the ups and downs of life.

Its still not to late to fix this way of thinking, just know that you are not your work , you are not people’s opinion about you, you are not what you do nor you are what you have. If you wonder whom you are then, then dig deep into your abilities and skills, dig into your wishes and dreams, dig into your Beliefs and higher values , only then you can know your true self.

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Did that help?

what else can make me feel bad when on criticised?

But am still ashamed of my small car and my inexpensive mobile phone

No, something else is causing my self confidence problems, get me to the self confidence's main page

Somehow, what do you mean by digging into my abilities?

why do you mean by "they are their emotions?

yes, i feel good now