Why the traditional advices don’t work

If this is not the first article you read about building self confidence then most probably you have read advices such as "keep saying affirmations", "stop your negative self talk" and "don’t care about the opinion of other people".

The problem with such advices is that they never reach your subconscious level and so a part inside you still feels worthless compared to others. The only way to build self confidence is to reach that subconscious part inside you and convince it that you deserve to be confident.

Building self confidence and the inner judge

Imagine that there is small person living inside you whose job is to judge you and evaluate you. If this person thinks that you are worthless then you started repeating affirmations and saying that you are great he will reply telling you “No you are a liar”

The only way to convince that inner judge, which is your subconscious mind, is to bring some kind of evidence but before you do so you must first ask him, why does it consider you worthless?

Lets suppose that the answer was “You don’t have friends” then the evidence you are going to bring must be in the form of new friends you make, only then you will feel confident.

Building self confidence the wrong way

The reason most people spend years trying to building self confidence with no results is that they take the wrong paths. A person who has a problem with his social life might try to fix it by becoming successful in his job and vice versa. In short he is providing the wrong evidence and that’s why his subconscious mind never believes him.(see The relationship between success and self esteem).

Try to understand the real reasons that are preventing your subconscious mind from believing in you and this will give you a clue about the type of evidence you should provide in order for your it to believe you.

Self confidence can’t be built by affirmations or positive thoughts but it can only be built through convincing your subconscious mind that you are confident which is something that neither affirmations nor positive thoughts can do.

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Want to know more?

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