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What causes jealousy?

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

An insight into the mind of the Jealous

You were sitting with her that night, everything was going fine and you were both enjoying your time until he suddenly appeared out of no where.

He was better dressed than you, he looked more handsome and he even started talking to her.

Your whole consciousness was focused on them, how he looks at her and how she smiled at him. You become angry, scared, insecure and lacked confidence; to wrap it up, you felt jealous.

Situations where you may experience feelings of jealousy

You may get jealous in any of the following situations:

  • when someone flirts with your girl
  • when someone achieves something that you have always wanted to achieve but didn't manage yet
  • when someone you hate succeeds
  • when someone manages to get something and you think that he doesn't deserve it

What are the causes behind jealousy?

If you think that you got jealous because of the way he talked to her or because of the way she smiled at him then you are wrong. Jealousy, like most other emotions which comes from within.

A big part of the problem lies within you and not with the person you are jealous of. The following are possible root causes for jealousy:

  • Jealousy root cause #1:Lack of self confidence: The main cause for feelings of jealousy are your doubts about your abilities or skills. If you were one hundred percent sure of yourself you would have never suffered from any jealousy feelings
  • Jealousy root cause #2: Poor self image : Having a poor self image is another cause of jealousy. If you believe that you look ugly or that you are not that handsome then chances are you'll be experiencing feeling of jealousy whenever you meet someone who looks better than you
  • Jealousy root cause #3: Fear : One of the root causes behind jealousy is being afraid. This fear can be a fear of ending up alone, a fear of being rejected or a fear of losing the love of your partner.
  • Jealousy root cause #4: Insecurity: Feelings of insecurity are the result of the two previously mentioned causes. A poor self image and lack of self confidence can result in making you Feel insecure about a relationship and this can be a strong reason that can make you jealous.

The intensity of jealousy differs according to the situation

If you hate someone then most probably you will feel more jealous of him if he succeeded in achieving something.

If you don’t hate him so much then the degree of the jealousy feelings will be less intense. On the other hand, if someone you really like achieved something then you might not feel jealous of him at all.

Jealousy and invading the private space

When someone becomes jealous he may start to invade the private space of his partner in such a way that results in relationship dissatisfaction for the one whose private space was invaded.

In my book The ultimate guide to maintaining a healthy relationship i explained how actions such as insisting on knowing your partner's passwords can make him/her dissatisfied and can ruin your relationship. Unless you have a strong evidence that proves that your partner is cheating on you don't ever invade his private space even if you were feeling jealous.

Jealousy; a friend or foe

The only thing jealousy is capable of doing is making you feel bad, ruin your relations or simply fill your heart with hatred.

Upon feeling jealous, don’t go pick fights with others and blame external factors but instead fix problems and these feelings of jealousy will disappear.

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor is it a place of shallow fixes; it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see why is 2knowmyself Different. 2knowmyself has recently released the book "How to make someone fall in love with you", a book that will increase your chance of making someone fall in love with you by at least ten folds.

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