Overcome depression now
How to feel better after a break up
By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
How to feel better after a break up
When someone tries to quit a bad habit he usually passes through a phase where he experiences unusual temptations then he gets used to his new life style and the temptations disappear.
The main reason the person finds it hard to quit the habit in the beginning is that lots of things remind him of his bad habit like the places he goes to, his friends, his way of thinking …etc.
The reason I mentioned bad habits here is that they are analogous to breakups, usually people experience a hard time trying to forget someone because lots of things remind them of him.
But why can a bad habit be broken quickly while forgetting about someone can take a long period of time? Simply because of the incorrect practices people do after breaking up.
Why do people fail to get over someone quickly
I have mentioned before that anchors are said to be formed when two events become connected together in your mind in such a way that the occurrence of one of them reminds you of the other.
When someone tries to stop a bad habit he usually feels like wanting to return back to it whenever an anchor reminds him of it. For relationships it’s the same thing, whenever something reminds the person of his old partner he feels like wanting to call him again.
Lets suppose that you have a song that reminds you of your great childhood memories (that’s a good example of an anchor) if you kept listening to the song hundreds of times then eventually you will stop feeling good when you listen to it.
This means that anchors die when one of the events happen alone without the other. So if you prevented yourself from remembering the one you loved whenever an anchor reminded you of him then shortly the anchors will stop reminding you of him.
What people usually do when they breakup
Just as anchors can be weakened they can be strengthened, if you listened to a certain song that makes you feel good while you are already feeling good then the strength of the anchor will become stronger.
People fail to forget about old relationships because they keep strengthening the anchors that remind them of their old partners by listening to sad romantic music, by thinking about him often, by going to the same places they used to go to together, by examining the gifts and the things that reminds them of him and by day dreaming about him. (see Songs to get over someone)
Each of these actions strengths the anchors and makes it hard to forget about that person. That’s one of the main reasons time doesn’t let people forget about someone, because while time is supposed to weaken their anchors they actually do wrong practices that strengthens the anchors over time.
If you want to forget about someone then let the anchors die by resisting this temptation and by avoiding such behavior. It will be hard in the first week but after that you will get used to it and you will forget about the person easily.
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