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How to start a conversation with a girl, a guy or a stranger

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to start a conversation with a girl, a guy or a stranger

How to start a conversation with a stranger?
How to start a conversation with someone you don't know?
What are the right words you should say?
And what are the right actions you should do?

For years i worked as a trainer and i gave courses about unconventional communication skills. One of the questions people used to ask me often is how to start a conversation with a girl, a guy or someone you don't know.

That's why i decided to write this article to tell you how to start a conversation with anyone anywhere.

Starting a conversation with a girl, guy or a stranger

Just like all my articles, this is not the kind of article where you will find inferior advice such as be nice or break the ice but instead you will find very powerful tips that are backed by psychology and that can help you start a conversation with any person.

There are few principles you should understand before you can start a conversation with a stranger successfully, here they are:

  • Interests, benefit and conversation: Each human being is interested is his own welfare even if he cares about others so much. One of the biggest mistakes people make when attempting to start a conversation with a stranger is not putting in mind that if their conversations wasn't aligned with the interests of that person then the person might not be that interested in the conversation they started. You might think that its impossible to know about someone's interests without talking to him but in fact the place where you meet a person tells a lot about his interests. If i met a guy in the gym then certainly i can assume that he is interested in making muscles and that starting a conversation with that guy about that topic will certainly be of interest to him (see Why do people get bored)
  • Rapport, similarity and poison: A research has shown that many people are reluctant to eating blue food because it reminds them of poison. We human beings like the things we are familiar with and we try to avoid what's uncommon. The good news is that you can appear to be familiar to someone on your first meeting by just applying the technique called Rapport establishment. For full information about rapport check this article. Starting a conversation with a guy or a girl will be much easier after you establish rapport because the person will feel that you are a familiar face
  • Feedback & body language: What if you tried to start a conversation with someone who was really busy? won't it make sense that you become able to recognize his emotional states so that you don't feel bad when he turns his back to you? Before you start a conversation with a girl, a guy or a stranger you need to Read their body language first so that you know whether they are ready for the conversation or not (check out the body language guide for more information on that topic
  • What impresses you doesn't impress me: One of the fatal mistakes people do when attempting to start a conversation with a stranger is believing that there is a general formula that impresses everyone. If you assumed that you will impress that person you are talking to because you managed to impress someone else using the same method then you are wrong. Human beings are different, what might impress someone could sound completely boring to another person (see How to impress people. The key to a successful conversation is to know exactly what impresses the person you are talking to. Again body language can provide you with such information. While talking about certain topics you will find that person interested and while talking about others you will find him bored. Just give him more of what interests him

How to start the conversation

Now that you know about these principles its time to use them to start a conversation with that person you are interested in. The following are the steps you need to do to start a conversation with a girl, a guy ,a stranger or any other person in the world:

  • Monitor his body language: Before you start a conversation with a stranger you need to know about his current emotional state. For example if you found that person playing with his mobile phone then you can conclude that he has nothing else to do and that he will be much more responsive to your conversation
  • Collect information about that person: Is the person doing anything that shows more about his interests? Is he reading a book? what's the book's title? is he using his laptop? Which site is he browsing? by knowing more about the interests of the person you are going to start a conversation with you can make sure that your conversation will be interesting to him (see Interpersonal attraction)
  • Self confidence is more important than words: One of the horrible mistakes people do when they attempt to start conversations with strangers do is that they hesitate while doing it as if they are attempting to steal something. When the person you are about to start a conversation with finds you hesitating he will doubt your intentions and might refuse to even talk to you. If you became brave enough to start a conversation then be brave till the end and be confident while talking (see How to use body language to appear confident)
  • Don't ask a question then leave: Another big mistake people do when they try to start a conversation with a stranger is that they ask a question that can be answered with yes or no then leave after getting the answer because of not finding something else to say. To start a successful conversation Ask open ended questions that are related to the interests of that person. For example if you found someone reading a novel then don't ask him where he bought it from or whether its nice or not but instead ask him about the events in the novel so that you give him a room to talk
  • Always leave them wanting more: Once you start a successful conversation with a stranger make sure you leave while he is still interested. Let me tell you a secret, even if you think that you are boring almost all people would be interested in you in the beginning because for them you are still that mysterious person who approached them out of nowhere. Make sure to leave while the person is interested so that you can start another successful conversation with him the next time

Final words about starting a conversation with strangers

Please don't misuse this information. 2knowmyself is not a dating website but its a site that helps people get over their fears and conquer them.

I wrote this article to help you get over your shyness, fears and to improve your self confidence not to assist in playing around or fooling others.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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