The Ultimate Source for Self Understanding

"It’s Impossible to Do That"

Situation 1:
Person X: Hey, do you think we can lift that weight?
Person Y: No we can’t, it’s too heavy.

Situation 2:
Person A: I am planning to find a job as soon as I graduate.
Person B: You are dreaming. With unemployment so high, no can one can find a job that fast.

If you were a bystander who saw the previous two situations you may really think that, in the first situation the weight was indeed too heavy and that in the second situation, unemployment was a major problem in that country. This is totally wrong, as the next few lines will show.

The Full Picture

In order to get the complete picture, there is some information that you should know. In the first situation person Y weighs only 40 kilograms and has never played sports before, while person X is muscular and well built.

In the second situation, person B graduated with poor grades, no computer skills and no foreign spoken languages, while person A is a hard worker and has lots of good qualities and soft skills.

Now think of what would happen if person X believed person Y and didn’t try to lift the weight? Or if person A believed person B and lost hope of ever finding a job?

Both these people, in spite of having the capability to do what they wanted, have thrown away a great chance. Person X won't try to lift the weight even though he's quite capable of handling it, while person A will probably give up on his job search thinking that unemployment will hinder him although he is qualifed and would probably land a job with ease!!

Everyone Describes Life from his Own Perspective

The conclusion is that everyone describes life from his/her own perspective and will tend to find a convincing explanation to what happened to him. Someone who failed to find a job will tell you that it's hard to find a job because of the high unemployment, while someone who lost his money in the stock market will tell you that putting your money in the stock market is a very risky venture. Similarly, someone who wasn’t able to lift a weight will tell you that it's too heavy!!!

Now that you know this, you should never give much credit to people’s opinion about something. Just because someone can't do something himself, doesn't mean that you can't do it, so if someone can't find a job that doesn’t mean that you wont be able to find one. Just treat the feedback you receive from other people as their own experience regarding that issue and not the general rule, otherwise you will end up failing in everything that your friends failed at and you will miss lots of chances of advancement. Don’t ever build a false belief about your abilities or skills because of others' bad experiences. Whenever you are faced with a new belief, test it before you accept it.

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Did that help?

No, it's still unclear why people relate thier failures to external conditions like unemployment.

No, what if I trust the person who told me so?

Yes, but the problem is that I have already built many false beliefs about my abilities.