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Body language: how to spot & analyze private distance

Knowing the fact that private distance area varies from one person to the other may have you wonder how you can determine if the person is letting you inside or not. The answer to this question is very simple, you don’t need to know the size of the area; you just need to know whether you are allowed in it or not. The following methods can help you test this:

• Try to get closer to that person and see if he is going to step backward; make sure you get close, but still keep a good distance. Stepping backward means he is getting you out of his private distance
• When shaking hands, see if he takes one step forward or just bends his back by leaning towards you then getting back to his former position (see the picture). The only difference between pictures two and one is that the person in picture two is not allowing the other person into his private distance
• If you miss the handshake, try asking him for an object and see whether he will take a step towards you or will just lean forward like he did in the hand shake

So your concern here is knowing whether this person is preventing you from getting into his private distance or not; not knowing the size of the private distance.

As you've just seen, very slight changes to your body language can have a big effect on your relationships with people. In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you, I elaborated on how slight changes, such as keeping your back straight, can increase the chances of having people fall in love with you. The more confident you appear, the more attractive you will become, and nothing can make you appear more confident than a straight back.

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