The Ultimate Source for Self Understanding

Reading body language: In state of interest

The state of being interested in someone or some topic is one of the major states in body language and so, before knowing the posture associated with the state, you need to first be introduced to some concepts like, private distance, orientation and eye contact

Concepts that the state of interest is built upon

• Private distance: Have you ever noticed the space you leave between you and the other person you are talking to? Have you ever noticed how this space differs from one person to another? If you have, then you've probably noticed how around each one of us is a circle called your private distance. You generally don't allow people to step into your private distance unless it is someone you like, comfortable with or at least mildly interested in. That's why some people get irritated in elevators because others keep on stepping into their private distance by force.
• Orientation: Generally, when a person is really enjoying the company of the other, and doesn’t want to leave, he will be oriented so that his shoulders are parallel to the shoulders of the other. That means he faces him by his whole body, people who talk to you while not being oriented properly may be wanting to leave either because they are not interested to talk or either because they may be late.
• Eye contact: As we've said before, eye contact shows interest and respect, and when talking about eye contact we mean positive eye contact which is usually 70 to 80% of the time and not all of the time.

How to use body language to know if someone is interested in you?

Now, after you've had an idea of all the important concepts, you can use them all together to know if someone is interested in you. If you find someone to be leaving small private distance between you and him, properly oriented and establishing good eye contact, then that means that he is interested in the conversation. But, if the person leaves a bigger distance, is not oriented properly and lacks positive eye contact, he may not be interested or in good intentions, just in a hurry. In addition to all the negative signs, if he is taking a defensive position, then he's reinforcing the idea that he may not be very enthusiastic about continuing the conversation to the end.

Another useful use of the state of interest postures is that you can easily use them to differentiate between close friends and people whom you've just known for a few days or so.

Body language and attractiveness

As you've just seen, very slight changes to your body language can have a big effect on your relationships with people. In my book, How to make someone fall in love with you, I illustrated how slight changes, such as keeping your back straight, can increase the chances of having people fall in love with you. The more confident you appear, the more attractive you will become, and nothing can make you appear more confident than a straight back.

Want to know more?

Ok, but you've said that the private distance differs from one person to another, how do the size for each case then?

Yes, tell me how to spot close friends??

No, take me back to the 'body language' main page