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I Am What I Have

Sarah was planning to go to a party with her friends, but when she started getting dressed, she found that all of her clothes were not that stylish compared to her friends' clothes, or at least so she thought. When she arrived at the party, she didn’t park her car in the specified place because she was afraid that if someone saw her car he would discover that it’s an old and cheap one. No one has ever heard Sarah’s mobile ring that day simply because Sarah usually sets her mobile to "silent" to avoid people seeing that it's an old model.

What’s the Problem with Sarah?

Why was Sarah avoiding appearing with anything that is neither perfect nor expensive? Because Sarah’s unconscious mind held a belief that she was less worthy than others and that she was defective and inadequate, she thought that the best way to hide this inadequateness was to appear in front of everyone in a perfect form. All of these precautions she was taking were just to cover her feeling of lack of self worth. If she felt worthy she would have known that having a small car or a cheap mobile does not define who she is and so cannot decide if she is worthy or not.

That’s exactly what many other people do; they think that they are defined by their belongings and this is a result of not having an inner feeling of self adequateness. People think that if they appear as anything but perfect, people would consider them defective.

Objects Are Identified with People and Not the Other Way Around

What if I asked you to tell me the name you would like to call your future child?
Whatever your reply will be, it will be the name of someone who you met before and liked very much. This name may sound beautiful to you, while someone else may not find it so desirable simply because that other person may have had a bad experience with someone having that same name.

This clarifies a very important aspect of identifying objects: objects are defined and labelled as good or bad according to the people possessing them and not because of the objects themselves. So if an attractive girl was living next to Sarah and had a car the same make as Sarah's, Sarah might start to think that if her pretty neighbor has that car and isn't ashamed of it, then maybe it isn't so bad after all. The same goes for any other object. For example, if someone was wearing weird clothes; if he was someone who was hated by his peers, they may start to talk about how odd his appearance was that day, while if he was a popular and confident guy, they may have thought that this is his own style and that they should respect his unique identity!!

Never be ashamed of anything that you possess, because your attitude decides how people will define these things. Your weird clothes may become a fashion, your inexpensive small car may provide an excuse for them to have the same car without being ashamed and your uniqueness may be the reason they like you.

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Did that help?

Yes, but the problem is that I always compare myself to others.

I guess I feel inferior to others. What can I do?

I didn't find my question here.How to make someone fall in love with me? (book)

How to get over anyone in few days? (book)

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