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Bullying

If I just had the power I would have beaten him up. If I just had the courage I would have protected myself from this humiliation. Why did I allow him to talk to me that way in front of everyone? I am sure everyone must be laughing at me now. I want nothing but peace of mind, I hate my life.
End of Diary

It feels really bad when someone bullies you. It makes you feelhelpless, weak,shameful and worthless. However, if you understand the bully’s mentality, you are not just going to feel good , you are actually going to pity him.

The Bully’s Inner World

A Bully appears to be strong, in control, and confident. But the truth is, he is the complete opposite of all that, as bullying is some kind of compensation. The following points will clarify the truth about bullies via letting you know the inner workings of their minds. The bully will usually bully others because:

• Bullying to Compensate for Insecurity: Bullies tend to be insecure kind of people.They have probably been bullied before ,by their parents or by other people. They are just doing the same thing to others now.
• Bullying To Compensate for Weakness:Some Bullies are really weak, and in order to feel good about themselves, they have to find someone weaker than themselves to intimidate . This person may actually have a stronger personality than their's but they are unaware of it
• Bulling to Compensate for being unpopular: I am not talking about the bully’s perceived popularity. I am talking about the bully's inner sense of getting accepted. Many of those attention seekers you see everyday feel neglected and unloved. Despite the fact that, they may appear to be popular. By bullying others, the bully will grab some attention to compensate for his imaginative unpopularity. see this article for more information on this topic

The first step in dealing with bullys is to put in mind that you are dealing with an insecure and an emotionally unstable person.

Dealing with Bullying

you should do two things. The first step is to build self confidence to prevent bullys from getting on your nerves, and the second one is to learn how to be assertive in order to prevent them from acting towards you in that manner again.

Assertive communication can help you be much stronger and in control. This may be enough to stop the bully from bullying you and at the same time, it won’t make you aggressive. Your assertive communication will limit the bully's options. He wont have the option of replying back because you are not verbaly aggressive and because you sound serious.

The bully believes that he is stronger than you, if you prove him wrong ; he will never bully you again. You can do this by being assertive and by using assertive body language gestures. At the same time building self confidence will prevent his comments from having any impact on your mood.

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