The Narcissist, the Over Confident and the Inferior

I Am omnipotent, Superior and invulnerable

I know that I am better than most of those who surround me, although i am not quite sure of the points of difference between me and them, still I know that I am much better than them. People seem to be weak, helpless and vulnerable. Most of them fail to succeed, the majority of them are depressed and the rest don’t know where will life take them.

I am not like these people and that’s why I should be on the top, that’s why I should be in the center of attention and that’s why I should outperform them.
Part of a Narcissist’s diary

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a personality disorder in which the person falls in love with himself. The narcissist has got an inflated sense of self worth, he thinks that he is better than the most, that he is a superior person and that he is invulnerable. If one of your friends is a narcissist you can easily identify him by his continues talk about his marvelous achievements, his outstanding intelligence or his breath taking beauty.

The following are the common symptoms that accompany Narcissists:

Striving for Attention: Narcissists Fuel their self confidence by the complements they receive, by being in the center of attention and by knowing that people are talking about their superior talents. Without these sources of supply, called the narcissistic supply sources, the narcissist feels worthless and may even become depressed.
Exaggerating their Worth: Narcissists think that they are omnipotent, invincible and superior. They constantly try to transfer this believe to those surrounding them in order to get their reward, which is the narcissistic supply. The narcissist always talks about how good he is and how brilliant he is compared to others.
Lacking Empathy: I hate to overgeneralize but most of narcissists care only about their own feelings. They can take advantage of others or use them just to secure a source of narcissistic supply. They only care of their own emotions and they lack empathy when it comes to dealing with others.
Obsessed With Fantasies of Unlimited Success: The Narcissist’s mind is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, superiority, ultimate achievements, tremendous strength and everlasting fame.
Expects Others to Glorify him: The narcissist considers himself above the law and he expects others to deal with him according to this exaggerated valuation of his self worth.

The Narcissistic Wound, Are Narcissists Really Superior?

When I used to meet people who think of themselves as superior beings, I used to bow for them. I thought that these people were super confident because they were different than others, and I was right about it, those people are different because they are deeply wounded.

When a child is abused or when he experiences some kind of a trauma his mind tries to find out a method for making him forget about his wounds and for preventing this abuse from happening again, And as a method of defense, narcissism is induced.

Feeling that he is weak, insecure and vulnerable he escapes to a new identity, an identity of a superior person who cant be harmed. This is the story of most narcissists, a deep sense of inferiority that is masked by a solid shell.

Why do you think the narcissist wants to be feared? Why do you think he wants to be ultimately strong? why do you think he wants to have tremendous achievements? because he is afraid, Because he is very weak and because he thinks that he is worthless.

It’s a game of compensation, people strive to get what they miss, if you are after ultimate power then you are dramatically weak and if you are after excessive admiration then may be you feeling worthless.( see The article "inferiority, successs and compensation")

Getting over Narcissism

If you are a narcissist then most probably you will escape reading this section because you are going to think that you are superior to me, and so my advice may be useless to you. However, if you decided to sacrifice your narcissism for personal balance then keep reading.

The first thing you should do is to know your enemy, you are trying to exaggerate your self worth because deep inside you there are some feelings of inferiority or lets say a wound. This wound is what you should really be putting your effort to get rid of and not anything else. For some reason you felt insecure and that’s why you have built this shield around your true self. This is the time where you should collect your courage then look beneath this shield. Even if you didn’t like what you saw there you should move on, because it’s the only way to personal balance.

I know that part of your self worth is based on true achievements and on real life success, and I know that you posses some special abilities and that’s why you should have no problem in facing your real self and in healing your wounded inner child.

So to summarize this, explore your wounds, deal with them and let go of your shield.

Narcissism Vs Over confidence

There is a thin line between narcissism and over confidence, I can’t describe one of them without mentioning the other as they are strongly connected, however, not all over confident people are narcissists.

Over confidence is over estimating your abilities and skills by a certain amount due to past experience or previous success. On the other hand, narcissism is thinking that you are superior and omnipotent.

If you are over confident I can’t tell you anything else other than take care. Lack of self confidence can hold you back but over confidence can cost you everything including your life. lack of confidence can make you stay at home instead of going swimming but over confidence can make you jump in the sea even if you cant swim.

Dealing with the Narcissist

Contarary to what you may be thinking, controlling a narcissist is like using the new Nintendo wee game console to play tennis ( I am assuming that you have at least 5 years of experience with video games Smiling . Here are a few tips for dealing with narcissists

Bothering Him Much or even depressing Him: Ignoring a narcissist or being indifferent to him can kill him. Although he will devaluate you for doing so, still you will be causing him much pain. Of course I am not telling you this information to use it against narcissists but this is an article about narcissism so it should include real life facts about them
Directing Him Somewhere: Just tell any narcissist that he can never learn Chinese and then leave him alone. Most probably you will find that he started Chinese courses few weeks later just to proof to you that he is superior and that you were wrong.
Make him Love You: Complement him, show him that you are impressed by him, and tell him that you are convinced that he superior, and he will be your friend. Although it wont be true friendship but he will try to keep close to you because you are now considered a new source of narcissistic supply

Final Words to Narcissists

Narcissists, unlike most of the people, I do believe that you are really strong and powerful. I am sure that that narcissism wont have become a part of your personalities if there weren’t a true base for this claimed strength. I know that you are achievers, intelligent and outperformers, but you still lack two things, balance and a solid self worth.

Why don’t you keep the positive part of narcissism while fixing the negative parts?
Build your real self worth and live with your true strength, but without your wearing your masks.
You are already strong then why are you faking it? And remember, even if you spent 50 years going in a direction other than the direction of personal balance, one day you will discover that balance is the right thing to seek.

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it’s a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

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