The Ultimate Source for Self Understanding , getting more than 300,000 visits each month

I am a Victim

Life is never what we want it to be. In difficult times, the one question that will keep getting into your head will be: "Why me?" or "What did I do to deserve this?"
All these questions occur to almost anyone in a tight spot. They're all part of the "Victim Mentality".

Stop Acting Like A Victim

It is in times of crisis that many feel helpless, broken, and cheated in some way or another. They feel that they were the victims of fate or that they must be truly unlucky to land in such a jam.

Being in such a situation can be almost unbearable, regardless, feeling sorry for yourself won't solve anything. The reason you're feeling so bad is because you can't find a way out of your problems, but victimizing yourself will not only lead you nowhere, it'll also rob you of your ability to think and act in a constructive way.

Absolutely everyone has problems, or will find themselves in trouble at one time or another. That's just the way life is. In rough times, you will find a mountain of strength awakened within you, but the important thing is to direct this incredible energy in a positive manner, and not waste it wishing things were different, or cursing the fates for something that you can no longer change.

Know that situations like these are what can make lasting changes in your personality and your life in general. They can be treated as opportunities rather than crises, if only you would pull yourself together. Below are guidelines which, if followed, will help you make the best of these situations and get you through them stronger than ever before:

• Unlimited Energy: As above mentioned, deeply emotional and moving situations provide you with an abundance of emotional energy. Channeling this energy towards solving your problem and fighting for your dreams will drive you unstoppably to fulfilling your goals and overcoming all obstacles. By doing this you have at the same time avoided directing you emotions inwards, which in many cases can lead to depression.
• Anger: Anger is another form of energy that can be utilized to your benefit. Anger can either be wasted on cursing and lashing out unneccessarily, or be used as an immense driving force enabling you to accomplish many things you thought you couldn't possibly do. Anger is an opportunity, so it's very important not to waste it victimizing yourself.
• Save your Energy: Although this emotional energy is tremendous, it's only a temporary burst. A week later you might forget all about your difficult and trying situation. The best thing you can do in order to "save" this energy is to write a plan the moment you experience these intense emotions. Don't make it anything elaborate, just a few lines to sieze the moment. This can be something like: “I will never let life beat me down again” or “I promise to get all what I want done” or “I will double my efforts”. This will ensure that, while you might forget all about that situation after a time, you won't forget the decisions you took right after.

Live like a Warrior rather than a Victim

You should only have two choices in your life, either living like a winner (if you already have what you want) or living like a warrior (if you're still fighting for what you want). Whenever you feel like a victim think of it the other way round. Say:
“ I'm still standing and fighting for what I want” rather than saying “I am a victim of life”.

Did that help?

What if exteral conditions are what are reponsible for my feelings?

No, I tried many times but I still failed.