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Why Being Rejected Makes You Feel Bad

Do you know what makes you feel bad when you are rejected?
It's not the rejection itself that hurts you; it's your being unsure of your abilities, which in turn makes you not know your own worth. If you were sure of your abilities and of yourself, you wouldn’t have felt so let down.

Want the Proof?

What’s the first thing that goes through your mind right after being rejected? It’s a re-evaluation of your abilities again. Think of someone who receives a rejection letter or who's been rejected by someone, what’s the first thing he usually does after being rejected?
He goes and questions his abilities in one of the following ways:

• If someone told him that he was boring, he would go around asking his close friends if they really find him boring.
• If a submission of his was rejected, he may review his material again to check if they really are up to standard or not. He may also ask a friend to rate them for him.
• If it was a letter of rejection that he received, he may question anything, starting with his own qualifications up to his performance at the interview.

So as you can notice here, every time someone feels bad upon being rejected, it’s because he was not sure of his abilities. He tries hunting for anything that makes him feel worthy and adequate; if he finds anything, he feels better instantly.

Dealing with Rejection

With this information, you must know that dealing with rejection starts by building the faith you have in your abilities and skills before presenting them to someone else to review. If you are not sure of them, you will feel very bad if you are rejected. Sit with yourself first, study your abilities, skills, and plans from all angles and aspects then ask close friends or people that you trust for their opinion. But first, you should have a solid evaluation of your abilities. You can then go present yourself anywhere, if you are rejected, simply remember your previous evaluation instead of reevaluating yourself all over again. If you are rejected don’t just go and analyze why this happened; don’t question your abilities, personality or dreams, just have faith in them.

Self-confidence and Rejection

As you may have already concluded, the more confidence you have, the less pain you will feel upon being rejected. Self-confidence is not only having confidence in your abilities; it's having confidence in all what you do, the work you present, the documents you submit, your working abilities and in everything else that is related to you. Dealing with rejection is not only what you do after being rejected; it's also what you do before you even present yourself to others for evaluation. Don’t waste your time. Build your self-confidence and evaluate yourself rather than having everyone else evaluate you then feel bad because you were rejected.

Did that help?

Not until you tell me how to build my self-confidence

Ok, but I have been rejected many times; can’t the problem be in me?

Ok, but still other people's opinion of me is important.

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