The Ultimate Source for Self Understanding , getting more than 300,000 visits each month

Your Emotions Should Be Private

Do you lack self confidence? Or are you already on your way to build it?
Are you always self conscious because you are afraid people will notice?

If you are, then know that your emotions are private, and until you solve your problems, no one has the right to know them. Your emotions are yours and no one should be allowed to know how you're feeling except the people whom you choose.

Five Signs that Show a Lack of Self Confidence

The following are some signs that show that you may be lacking self confidence; anyone with above average experience will spot these signs and determine that you are lacking self confidence. Make sure that you are aware of them.

• Giving reasons for your actions : Suppose someone was having lunch with a group of people whom he doesn’t know very well and accidentally dropped his glass of coke on the floor. What will he do? Well, some people will immediately start to give reasons to explain what just happened by using comments like “oh, the glass was just at the edge of the table” or “oh, I am so tired today, that’s why I wasn’t concentrating”. Confident people don’t give reasons for their actions; if you dropped the glass or made a mistake, it doesn’t change who you are. It's your right to make mistakes because you are human and you don't have to find excuses for yourself.
• Immediately replying to criticism: I am sure that you have experienced a situation where upon giving a small critical comment to one of your friends, he snaps back at you immediately and aggressively. For example, if you tell him, “your performance wasn’t that good today” and he replies saying, “no no no, its just because I was tired” or “no I was just thinking of something else while working and that’s what why I was distracted”, that shows that he lacks self confidence. Confident people listen to criticism and see whether it's constructive or not. If it was constructive they accept it, if not, it doesn't bother them much. Think of it this way: if you see a body building champion and tell him “hey, you look pretty weak”, what will he do? He will just smile condescendingly and move away because he knows that he's a champion.
• Compensation: A friend of mine looked really upset one time, and when I told him this, he replied ”I never get upset and I never have problems”. What happened here? Is my friend a superman who is always happy?
  Of course not, he is just compensating for his lack of self confidence. Every one compensates in his own way; one person may become arrogant, another may reply using the 'never' word just like in the previous example, others turn into perfectionists.
  Everyone of us has his/her own weak points, just like he has his/her points of strength. You don’t have to compensate for your weaknesses because no one is perfect.
• Body language : People who lack self confidence always take the defensive position (arms folded and may be accompanied by crossing legs).
  Confident people rarely take this position unless they are offended or feeling cold so train yourself to forget about this position.
• Becoming a perfectionist: A perfectionist thinks that he lives in a perfect world so he tries to do everything perfectly too. The problem here is that he may become upset if he gets a 99/100 in an exam!!!! That is because he thinks that unless he is perfect, he may not become a worthy person. This results in him constantly facing disappointment, since no one, including him, can ever be truly "perfect". Confident people are not perfectionists, they try to achieve success not perfectionism. If they get a “B”, they may aim for an “A”; but if they get 99%, they won't aim for 100% .

The book “How to get over someone in few days” was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded. 2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it’s a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see why is 2knowmyself Different

Did that help?

No, I still need to know how to build my self confidence.

Yes, tell me about the defensive position.

Yes, but what is body language?

Yes, tell me more about perfectionists.

What about the signs of self confidence?