Overcome depression now
How to become more confident
By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
How to become more confident
Everyday millions of people try to become more confident by acquiring fame, power, money and popularity but in the end most of them end up feeling the same.
Some of those people follow advice such as repeating affirmations, thinking positively or learning how to relax and in the end they find themselves feelings worse. (see do affirmations really work?)
Another group of people become arrogant as the result of feeling that they have so many resources that people aren’t paying any attention to. After all arrogance is just a defense mechanism that people who feel overlooked develop in order to preserve their ego.
The reason most people fail to become more confident is that they spend their lives trying to build self confidence the wrong way while in fact there is only one way to do it.
Building self confidence the wrong way
It is impossible to build self confidence based on fame, popularity, number of friends or the amount of money you collect. If a person believes that he is a failure then most probably he will not count any achievements he makes or he will attribute them to coincidence.
Just like a depressed person only sees negative events and overlooks positive ones, a person who has a false belief about himself discounts any achievements that might prove his false belief wrong.
If a guy who is not confident around women or believes that he is not attractive received a smile from a woman he will quickly attribute this smile to her politeness or kindness instead of attributing it to his good appearance.
In short, we never become confident when we acquire something because we are always in a state of comparing what we have to what we think we deserve. If someone believes that he can’t succeed then all the success he achieves will be discounted and he will still feel that he is a failure.
Building self Confidence the right way
Building self confidence is all about changing the beliefs you have about yourself , here is how to do it
Self confidence comes from within
You can’t become confident before you change the beliefs you have about your self and you won’t be able to change these beliefs before you convince yourself to believe in new ones.
Affirmations never work because your subconscious mind will require solid proofs before it can accept a new belief. Just as you collect false clues that solidifies the false beliefs you have you must learn how to stop collecting these clues and replace them with real ones that can help you become confident.
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