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Does Love at First Sight Really Exist?
By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.
Does Love at First Sight Exist?
Before exploring outer space people used to think that the earth was flat and that you could fall off its edge if you ever went that far.
The same goes for everything else that we don’t understand. People usually try to associate all unknown facts with things they are familiar with and love is no exception to that rule.
Even though learning about the psychology of falling in love can help you understand why you fall in love and why you love someone but not the other still the majority of people prefer not to read about it and to just think of love as a mysterious process that has no rules.
Love at first sight exists simply because many of us have been through it before. This article is going to explain to you why you might fall in love with someone at the first sight.
Why Do We Fall in Love?
I have talked about this topic extensively in this article so I am just going to give a brief explanation about it here.
In most cases, we fall in love to compensate for our unmet needs, when we find someone similar to us, when we find someone who reminds us of a close person we love (like one of our parents for example) or when someone meets our unconscious criteria. The unconscious criteria is simply a list of traits that should be found in a person before we can fall in love with him.
Love at First Sight
If you understood the previous points then you may have already guessed why we sometimes fall in love with someone at the first sight. We fall in love at the first sight when someone meets most of our unconscious criteria at the first meeting.
For example if a guy had dark skin and really loved his mother then it’s very likely that his unconscious criteria will include items such as 1) She should have white skin and that 2) She should be as kind as my mother. Of course it’s not that simple; the criteria can be very complex and can include hundreds of items but I am just simplifying the idea in order for you to easily get it. (see Why do we like certain people)
What will happen if that guy met a girl who has such traits? What if in addition to all that she was attractive as well? Most probably that guy will develop an instant crush on her, or as we say, love her at the first sight.
People who fall in love at the first sight usually believe in false ideas like "the one" and "soul mate". In my book “How to get over someone in few days” i explained how getting rid of such concepts can be a vital step in the recovery from any breakup.
By just understanding how love at the first sight works you are actually helping yourself in getting over such false beliefs.
Love or Best Friends?
Now the question that may have popped into your mind is “Why do I sometimes find someone who is absolutely fantastic, has many good traits but i still never love him at the first sight?”.
The answer is simple: either because he didn’t match your criteria at all or because you are looking for traits that can’t be noticed at the first meeting. That’s why people who care much about physical appearance are more likely to experience love at first sight than others. Because many items in their criteria is dependent on appearance ,which is something that can be noticed quickly, they usually fall in love at the first sight.
The earth is not flat and love is not that mysterious. Read a lot and seek answers so that you can remove these mysteries from you life. 2knowmyself is, without doubt, the only complete source for the psychology of falling in love on the whole web. If you dare to challenge this statement then check out the psychology of falling in love section and you will discover it yourself.
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